When is your child too old to sleep in your bed? I ask because this week Little B and I took part in a feature for The Sun newspaper about co-sleeping after Adele revealed she still lets her three-year-old son in bed with her (what with the beard thing, Adele is a good source of blogging material!)
Regular readers will know Little B has been in our bed pretty much since birth, and while there are pros and cons to having a baby in your bed overall itโs been best for us while heโs breastfed. Now that heโs 18 months old thereโs still three in the bed, if you know what I mean, but Iโd like to think we can get him in his own bed by the time heโs two.
Interestingly though, of the four mums interviewed for The Sunโs feature, I had the youngest co-sleeper. The others have an 11-year-old, nine-year-old and five-year-old who regularly share their beds. Yikes.
There are occasions when we end up with both BB and Little B in our beds (if Iโd known then what I know now weโd have bought a super-king) but thatโs usually down to illness or a thunderstorm. I think 11-years-old is going a bit far.
What do you think? When is a child too old to sleep in your bed?
Linking up with…
I’m not a fan of co-sleeping as think it’s good to have space. That said the littlest one came in for a doze this morning. My eldest used to regularly come in doing the night when it was just me and her but when Mr J came on the scene we quickly realised there wasn’t space for all of us and we tackled her coming in during the night. After a couple of tricky nights we got there and she’s never slept in my bed since. She comes in for cuddles in the mornings but otherwise knows she sleeps in her own bed. I don’t think any of us would get a decent nights sleep if we were all crammed in..and kids fidget too much! #fartglitter
our pre teen still sneaks in every now and then… which is fine! I couldnt have her in there all the time though I do think she is too big now, but each to their own right? what suits one person isn’t going to suit another… #fartglitter
When my eldest daughter was a baby she would scream if I attempted to take her in our bed at 2am after being up for hours and thinking this would work. This has carried on and at nearly 4 years old, if I suggest she gets in with us during her wake ups at night, it always ‘no I want my own bed’. My youngest would sometimes end up with us when I was breastfeeding and exhausted, but not since I stopped. I have no real feelings on it, parents just do what is right them and their children x ยขmarvmondays
I suppose it is each to their own. Definitely breast feeding is easier if they are the same bed, which I never really intended but happened in the middle of the night. Me personally, I wouldn’t have them much past two except every now and then ๐ #MarvellousMondays
Clem still sleeps in with us at almost 22 months but we are going to get her a big girl bed soon so hopefully it won’t be for much longer. Clem is a complete fidget and a bed hog. It’s worked out well so far but I really would like some proper sleep now. x #marvmondays
I think it’s fine while ever it works for the family. We’ve never really done the whole co-sleeping thing, even as a newborn as I sleep like a short course of death, and was terrified that I would roll onto one of them and squish them. The odd time that I have had to share a bed with our three year old on holidays etc, I have always vowed “never again!” She sleeps like a starfish, a rotating one, in fact a rotating noisy one. It is not conducive to sleep I can tell you!
Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter x
I think if my daughter was coming in during the early hours at any age I wouldn’t get too worried. I was still in with my mum throwing up before I was 10! Hated it! Saying that I would prefer her to fall asleep in her own bed and I’ve neve co slept when she was tiny…too scared xx #twinklytuesday
I think our kids all voted with their feet and stopped coming into see us for even morning cuddle from about age 9. Kids usually decide when they’ve had enough, as a parent I’m always happy for them to visit. #TwinklyTuesday
Holly only ever sleeps with us if she’s scared. But hey ho. If it suits the parents who cares.
L X
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
#TwinklyTuesday
Tyler has been sleeping next to me ever since we moved house when he was 2 and he had his own bedroom, but he doesn’t want to sleep in his bedroom by himself. So he sleeps next to me, and my husband sleeps in Tyler’s room! He is now 4. I think things will change once our second baby comes next month, I know this is not forever! xx
#twinklytuesday
My boys have always slept in their own beds apart from when they’ve been really sick but my little man has started having really bad night terrors and has slept with us twice in the last month. Luckily we have a large bed but I still seem to end up on the precipice and wake with a bad back! I agree 11 is too old. Little man is 7.
Our little one is almost three and over the last 6ish months seems to have found her way back into our bed after previously happily sleeping in her own bed (bliss). I’m not sure whether this is perhaps because we are expecting our second child imminently, or whether its a phase but we’re quite keen to get her back into her own by the time baby arrives and usually put her into her own bed once she has dropped off to sleep in ours. I know that really she needs to fall asleep in her own bed though for this to really stick so we need to get working on a better bed time routine. It is nice at times to have her in our bed, but being pregnant has made things quite snug and with baby no.2 coming along I dont really fancy having 4 in a bed at some point which is where this is destined to end up if we continue like this. Good luck with getting yours into his own bed, I know that I’m not looking forward to the challenge that lies ahead! Thanks for linking this up to #MarvMondays. Emily
I’ve commented on this already but back for #justanotherlinky x
My son is nearly two and he slept in his own cot from ten weeks old. I found that even having him in the same room as me was disrupting for us both, let alone same bed. I breastfed but was lucky that he fed and went back to sleep with little fuss so I would just get up feed for 10/15 minutes then put him back and go back to bed. I would really struggle to have him in the same bed as me. He has slept in our bed when poorly or upset but we need our space as we are all starfish sleepers (aka legs and arms sprawled). Each to their own I say. Whatever gets you the most sleep! #JustAnotherLinky
I’ve never really thought about this as only one of mine has ever slept in my bed and that was my eldest. When his Dad and I split when he was four, he started sleeping in my bed for comfort and that continued for two years until I met my now husband, which in hindsight was far too long to allow him to sleep with us as it then became hard for him to understand why now he had to go back to his own bed. My youngest three never sleep in our bed unless they are poorly, they are such sweaty children and hog all of the covers, I don’t sleep a wink with them in it! #justanotherlinky
I think it’s a matter of personal choice and I’m on the side of co-sleeping. I would never turn any of my children away if they wanted to get into bed with me (well, maybe my 26 and 27 yr old, but I don’t imagine they would want to anyway) My 10 year is a very early waker and the only way I can get a couple of extra hours in bed is by letting her into our room. It used to be my bed until I got sick, but now she has a little bed of her own in our room. My other two younger ones only come in if they are feeling unwell, but will often have a quick cuddle then go back to their own beds.
We went for a super king size just Aswell girls in with us every night they are 4 years old does it matter not to me #justanotherlinky
My nearly four year old sneaks into our bed in the night. Usually not until the early hours (5am) and then goes back to sleep. If the twins are ill then they usually comes in earlier, partly so they have the comfort of someone there, and partly so we can keep a close watch on them. I do agree 11 is a bit old but for the moment I don’t mind. #fartglitter
I don’t mind either, but the bigger they get the more elbows and knees you get in places you don’t want them!!
I don’t think there’s an age for everyone – I think everyone is different and so is every child. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
Yes that’s very true x
I think it’s whatever suits each family, we are all different after all. I personally don’t mind when my nearly 3 year comes in if he wakes in the night but it doesn’t make for a comfortable nights sleep..elbows and knees everywhere!I agree with you though, 11 may be a bit extreme but then I guess we don’t know the circumstances xx #picknmix
It’s definitely not a comfortable night in our house!!
I am almost 30 and when I was fat and over due and had a really bad cold, I slept in bed with my mummy! I don’ t think you’re ever too old!
That’s very funny – always a child at heart!!
It’s such a personal choice really. I am not a big fan, only because I am too scared to hurt the little one who is only 4 months old. But I used to co-sleep with my mum on an occasional Sunday when I was a little girl and really liked it. Not sure my mum was so keen to be waken up at 7 am at the weekend though #FabFridayPost
I meant #effitfriday ahahah soryy, doing all my linkies now and it’s obviously too late for me ….
Don’t worry, I do that all the time!!
Four months is young – I was always worried when Little B was in our bed at that age!!
I don’t think there’s a hard and fast right or wrong. Kara (who’s 4) still routinely wakes up at about midnight and crawls into our bed for the rest of the night, while the boys (8 and 6) will often pitch up at 5-ish and squeeze in wherever they can for the final hour or so. Is it ideal? No. But it seems to work okay for us. #picknmix
I hope you’ve got a big bed – that sounds awfully crowded!!
I love it and so I have no issue with either boy being in with me. I much prefer sleeping with my eldest though, he is less grabby and scratchy, and sleeps better but that’s by the by! My husband is a reluctant cosleeper but we both do anything to get some sleep!!! So late with my commenting sorry lovely lady xx