How to raise a respectful child

Raising a respectful child is one of the most important goals for any parent or carer.

Respect goes beyond simple good manners – it’s about empathy, understanding boundaries, and treating others with kindness.

While every child is unique, there are certain principles that can help foster respectful behaviour from an early age.

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Here are some top tips on how to raise a respectful child inspired by the teachings of this prep school in Essex.

Model respectful behaviour

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. If we want them to be respectful, we must demonstrate respect ourselves – in how we speak to them, to others, and even how we manage conflict.

Use polite language at home, such as ‘please’, ‘thank you’, and ‘excuse me’, and encourage your child to do the same. Show respect for their opinions and feelings, even when setting boundaries. When children see adults managing disagreements calmly and fairly, they learn to mirror that behaviour.

Teach empathy early on

Empathy is the foundation of respect. Helping children understand how others feel encourages them to act with kindness and consideration.

Encourage empathy by naming emotions, both their own and others’. For example, if another child is upset, you might say, ‘He looks really sad because his toy broke. How do you think he feels?’ Storybooks are also a great tool for exploring emotions and discussing how characters interact.

Set clear boundaries & expectations

Children thrive when they understand what’s expected of them. Be consistent in setting boundaries around respectful behaviour. Explain why certain actions – such as interrupting, hitting, or shouting – are unacceptable.

Use age-appropriate consequences and always link them to the behaviour rather than the child’s character. For example, say ‘Throwing toys is not acceptable, so let’s take a break from playing,’ rather than ‘You’re being naughty.’

Encourage responsibility

Giving children age-appropriate responsibilities at home helps build respect for shared spaces, others’ belongings, and teamwork. Tasks like setting the table, tidying toys, or feeding a pet teach them that everyone contributes to the household.

Celebrate effort and improvement rather than perfection. A child who feels appreciated and capable is more likely to act respectfully.

Teach digital respect

As children grow up in an increasingly digital world, it’s important they understand how to be respectful online as well as offline. Talk to them about treating others kindly in messages, being mindful of what they post, and respecting screen time boundaries.

Set rules for device use and monitor online activity in a way that encourages trust rather than fear. Open communication is key.

Praise respectful actions

Positive reinforcement works wonders. When you notice your child showing respect—whether by sharing, helping, or speaking kindly – point it out. Say things like, ‘I noticed how you waited your turn. That was very respectful.’

Acknowledging these behaviours helps children understand the value of respect and motivates them to keep it up.

Raising a respectful child doesn’t happen overnight – it’s a continuous journey that evolves as your child grows. With patience, guidance, and consistent role modelling, you can help them develop into a kind, thoughtful individual who treats others with the dignity they deserve.

This is a collaborative post.