Do you spend equal amounts on your kids at Christmas?
I ask after one in four British parents admits to spending more on one child than their others at Christmas, begging the question: is it ok to spend more money on one child at Christmas?
As a mum of three I know how hard it can be treating all my children equally, not just at Christmas but all year round.
When it comes to present buying treating them fairly can be even harder, because it stands to reason that an eight-year-old is going to have more wants and needs than a two-year-old, for example – and the older they get the more expensive those gifts tend to become.
But even so, I firmly believe in treating children fairly and don’t think it’s right spending more on one child than another.
Is it ok to spend more money on one child at Christmas?
According to a study by discount voucher website myvouchercodes.co.uk a quarter of British parents revealed they spend an average of £115 more on one child than their others at Christmas, with reasons ranging from the child in question being easier to buy for to 22% admitting to having a favourite child. And I have to say I was shocked!
I can understand £10 here or £20 there – but £115?! I don’t know about you, but I think it’s really important to treat children fairly and each child the same, especially when the concept of fairness is so important to kids themselves.
The sense of wrong they feel if they think something isn’t fair is so strong that I think it sends the wrong message if us mums and dads aren’t treating them the same as their brothers and sisters – and I’ve had a bit of a rant about it with my journalist hat on in the latest edition of Woman’s Own magazine.
I’m firmly in the ‘no it’s not ok’ camp. I always set a budget for Christmas, and I always make a list of what to get each child for both their stockings and from us before I go shopping so I know they’ll get equal amounts of presents at roughly equal cost.
As I say in my piece for the magazine (shameless plug alert!) it’s really important to me that when the kids are grown-ups themselves they look back and see that they were all treated fairly – not just financially but in all aspects of their childhood.
What do you think? Do you try and spend equally on your kids at Christmas? Or are you one of the one in four who doesn’t? I’d love to hear your point of view!
If you’d like to read the Woman’s Own debate in full you’ll find it on the inside back page of the December 2 edition, out now!
It is a tough one, I try to be fair and get the same amount of toys, I think my boys arnt bothered about money but enjoyment so that is good. But we tend to spend the same on them X
#thatfridaylinky
What goes around comes around, and over the years things even themselves out, You’ll find that you keep a sort of running ‘tally’ in your head as to who is ‘up’ and who is ‘down’ and balance it accordingly as the years go by. I agree with you that a discrepancy of £115 is daft, but I don’t think you have to balance it to the last £. I think it’s more important for children to have things which will provide best play value/be most useful to them rather than having something which cost the same as whatever you got for one of their siblings. It’s also worth while teaching them that the cost of something isn’t necessarily the best yardstick. “To each according to their needs” is my motto. They need to get accustomed to the idea that one year their big sister will get a bike and another year it’ll be their turn for the ‘big’ present.
Incidentally, I’m quite horrified by the person who spent £115 more on one child than another. Makes you wonder what the base line per child is!! Perhaps they have a very great deal of money, but it still sounds insane to me. Whatever else children may or may not need, they certainly do not need to be over-indulged and turned into spoilt brats whom nobody wants to play with!
This is a really good question. I think as long as the pile looks the same, the cost doesn’t matter. One of mine is getting festival tickets but that is way more than what the youngest one wants. However, she is getting ALL that she wants (only 3 things) plus little extras. So while $$ value is less, she is technically getting MORE. Also, if the kids are all getting toys and one gets a more expensive toy, there’s a good chance any younger children will get to use that toy for nothing when the kid grows out of it. So it’s kind of a multiple kid investment. My eldest child got all the Little People toys for birthday and Christmas but every other sibling got to play with them when they grew into them. So in a way they got EXTRA presents that the eldest never benefited from. #KCACOLS
I only have one child so this isn’t something I have to worry about, but I will say my mum, who is one of five, has had a lot of problems with her siblings over the years because their parents did not treat them all equally in many ways, including financially. In fact, my mum was the clear favourite and this hurt her 4 siblings a lot and this has affected their entire relationship. I don’t think parents need to count up the value of presents exactly – especially when there is an age gap or the children don’t really understand what things cost, but overall siblings having a sense of all being treated equal is very important. #KCACOLS
God £115!!! I do spend more on my youngest but because she’s so much easier to buy for, her presents are also cheaper so it’s too easy for them all to stack up without realising, whereas my stepdaughter gets fewer, more expensive presents! There’s not a difference of £115 between them though! #KCACOLS
I never worried about the same value when they are to young to know. A ten year old may get a bike which is an expensive item and a few small items to open where as a 2 year old is happy with the wrapping and empty boxes as they say and gets bored after opening one or two.
As they get old enough to know then it is different but then it is more about what they ask for and surely that is more important than the totally cost spent on each child.
But never made that big a difference.
Of course it’s ok. And i also think it’s ok not to spend a small fortune on the kids. Although I can afford new toys, I’ve bought most of my 11 month old stuff from the carboot, on marketplace and in charity shops. While he is small, I’m not spending loads. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time!
we try and keep it equal but its almost impossible, especially with ours being 8 years apart in age. Kids are going to have different wants and interests and some things just naturally cost more. To be honest I think that having the same number of things to open is probably going to matter more to most smaller kids. #KCACOLS
I try my best to keep things fair with my two, but they’re still young enough that sometimes it’s more about the value they place on the things they choose rather than the monetary value, if that makes sense! #KCACOLS