The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary at the weekend. The papers have been full of coverage, and I was heartened to notice that despite having only been married for five years, and in spite of leading charmed lives owing to being royal, they look like they’ve aged 10.
It’s the kids that have done it. Misery Guts and I have also been married for five years, and we also look like we’ve aged 10. At least.
This got me thinking that there are things no-one tells you about marriage, and things you only know after you’ve been married or living together for a certain amount of time.
So Iβve compiled a little list of 5 things you only know after 5 years of marriage:
1. Nothing is sacred or mysterious. Having a wee while the other one is in the bath becomes so common place you no longer even notice. It’s when the wee becomes a number two you should start to worry.
2. If you’ve had kids the chances are you’ve seen things, horrifying things, they donβt show you in films. In some cases these things are so horrifying you havenβt actually vocalised them yet. Not to each other, anyway.
3. If one of you has been seriously ill, and by this I mean hospital ill, the chances are you’ve done things you never dreamed of. Or at least things you thought you wouldnβt do until you were in your dotage and therefore too old or senile to care. Remember, you did say βin sickness and in healthβ.
4. When you firstΒ met, your other half looked and acted nothing like your prospective in-laws. In fact you were hard pushed toΒ see a resemblance. Five years down the line youβre both slowly but surely turning into your parents. Sometimes this resemblance is uncanny.
5. You often find yourself thinking, or saying, ‘it’s a good job it’s not our first date’. You’ve also realised that ‘until death us do part’ is actually a rather long time.
Have you been married or with a partner for five years or more? How has it been for you?
Linking up with…
Hehe this made me chuckle but I think I will be horrified if my husband turns into my mother in law
Ah, but will he turn into your father in law? And will you turn into your mum?!!
hahaha i loved this post!! its all so true!
I have been with my other half for 5 years and stayed together 4 now. And I have done things and seen things that i never thought i would do or see or even be ok with!!
Great post!!
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
#MarvMondays
It’s a jolly good job we don’t know what we’re signing up for, that’s all I can say!
My husband and I are celebrating our 6 year anniversary this weekend! There definitely isn’t any mystery left after this long (we’ve actually been together for 13 years all together). Neither of us is embarassed to say things like, “Can you watch the baby? I need to take a poo.” #fartglitter
Happy anniversary! I hope you had a good one – our 6th wedding anniversary is in July x
You know they love you when you have proper food poisoning and they look after you instead of closing the bedroom door and running away! Such a lovely list π We’ve been married 16 years. There is no mystery left!
That’s definitely love! I’ve done things like that for Misery Guts in hospital but I’ll spare you the gory details!!
haha I’m not there yet but the time is creeping up. Just read Mrs Tubbs post above….when I have D+V my husband sleeps through it. lol. Plenty of wees in front of him though xx #fartglitter
It’s just as well he slept through it! I don’t mind a wee but not a number two…
We are celebrating our 5th anniversary – my husband maintains that he is till young and trendy (he isn’t) whereas I have admitted defeat and gone for some super strong ageing cream! Still thankfully I have not had him do a number 2 while I was in the bath, I have however had him turn up in the bedroom at 3am shivering and telling me has been sick all over the bathroom… #fartglitter #marvmondays
Nice. I spent my first ever Mothering Sunday clearing sick off the bathroom floor because Misery Guts had a migraine. I was soooo disappointed!!
Haha, yes to all! Though we’re not married, I’ve been with my partner for 9 years now (how!!). It’s gone so fast, and we are definitely far too comfortable around each other (except he still won’t come in the bathroom when I pee haha. And number 2’s are off limits!). Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays! Kaye xo
I think number twos should ALWAYS remain off limits – although some people do if you read the other comments!!
Brilliant! It will be six years for us this year and honestly if they told you all this beforehand, you wouldn’t believe it! But it all happens!! x
It’s a good job they don’t tell us all this at the altar otherwise we’d probably run a mile!!
Your posts are always spot on and really make me laugh! What have I learnt, hmm, well after nearly 10 years there really is no mystery, I think I have had to examine every orifice at some time. Also I am no longer allowed to have a wee in peace. Apparently 5 years plus of marriage means toilet door always open #fartglitter
Our toilet door is always open too! I can never have a bath in peace anymore…so pleased you like the post!x
We’ve been together just slightly less time but I’d agree with all of these. Especially the horrors of parenting. The horrors! Getting intimate with a partner after they’ve helped you off the loo following surgery is an interesting thing.
#fartglitter
I always worried Misery Guts wouldn’t be able to ‘unsee’ the things he saw during labour but hopefully he’s blotted it all out..!
Love this post! I agree that the royals do seem to have aged since getting married, but then again we probably all do. I’ve been married twenty three years (or around that many years. I stopped counting years ago, it was just too depressing!)..
The only thing I have left that is sacred is my chocolate stash (no dare!). And you are spot on about us turning into our parents, I can see it myself in both of us. It does seem that there are some things we just have no control over and unfortunately for my husband my family are as barmy as they come!
xx
It made me feel better to see that the royals have aged too – especially William’s hair!! My chocolate stash is sacred too!
My husband and I also celebrated our five year anniversary last month. Five years feels like the blink of an eye but when I look back to who I was (pre-kids and everything) it feels like another lifetime. And yes like you say we a definitely turning into our parents. Yikes! #TwinklyTuesday
It IS another lifetime ago – the kids’ lifetimes!!
Totally agree. I remember worrying before our first ever holiday about going to the toilet with him around. We were still in that sexy early phase. How things change #twinklytuesday
It’s amazing how quickly etiquette goes out of the window with each year that passes!
We’ve been together 13 years so yes even poo when the other is in the bath but I love that we are so close and comfortable with each other. I probably would prefer a bit more privacy but we have two kids so it’s never going to happen anyway, lol! #TwinklyTuesday
Oh no! Not poo! Noooooooo! Shoot me if I ever do that!!
We are hitting 8 years this year and I can confirm the list only gets longer! But actually we get closer the longer it gets. #twinklytuesday
That’s just as well then because what’s the alternative?!!
haha – number 4 is so very true!! something i never thought would happen either!! xx #TwinklyTuesday
It’s a fate coming to us all..!
Ha ha this is so true! I told hubs he was reminding me of his dad the other day with his grumpiness! He wasn’t impressed!! #passthesauce
Misery Guts both looks and acts like his dad all the time these days – especially when he nods off on the sofa!!
This made me laugh out loud. I’m not married and have been single a really long time but this was totally me and my daughters dad pre break up. Brilliant #passthesauce
So pleased you enjoyed it and I made you laugh!!
Ha ha I had to read this on #passthesauce because me and my Mr have been married five years this year too. You’re so right – we ALWAYS say the ‘good job this isn’t our first date’ thing! We have aged soooo much since having kids that I look back on our wedding photos and we look like different people!
I look back at old photos and wonder who on earth the people in them are too!!
It’s our fourth anniversary this month and yet I think we learned all of those things in the first year! We have only been together for five years full stop, and in that time we have married with four children!! We don’t hang about!! Ha! #TwinklyTuesday
No you don’t waste any time! I think I’d have gone insane by now!
Pahahaha! We’re 5 years in, too. Relate to all that you have said. We’re at the stage in our marriage where I feel that I need a wife to help me deal with how complicated he makes things. Not in a kinky kind of ‘introduce a third party’ kind of way, more of a recruitment drive for someone who can actually help me manage our family! Thanks #PasstheSauce for introducing us!
You need a housekeeper! They’re on the rise apparently, and no longer the preserve of the upper classes either!
I can relate to some here π I will have been with my partner for 5 years on the 19th this month
Congratualtions! You’re lucky if you can’t relate to all of these!!
Haha this almost put me off wanting children, and marriage! Good post π #PassTheSauce
Oh no!! I didn’t mean to do that – it’s not all like this…honest!!
We’ve been married almost 11 and I definitely agree with all your points but especially 4 and 5. βοΈ
4 and 5 are inevitable I think!
he this is true. we have been married coming up to 8 years. together 15. it’s a longgggg time! #TwinklyTuesday
It’s true those people who say a life sentence is shorter!!
Ha its our three year anniversary this year but these things sound pretty familiar already! #twinklytuesday
It’s downhill from here on in…
So cute! We’re celebrating 15 years this year and we’ve been together for 23. We both keep remarking that it has just flown by! We still feel like we’re barely out of high school and yet, obviously, we are far form it!
We’ve been together for 15 years and married for six this year – I don’t know where the time’s going either!!
ha ha very funny! I repeatedly find myself saying ‘you are so much like your dad’ so I can only imagine he thinks i’m like my mum – but then my mum is perfect so I’m ok with that!!! A very funny truthful read #passthesauce
Misery Guts is slowly but surely turning into his dad and as soon as I became a mum I started sounding like her, parroting all the things she used to say!
Hahaha….so true…there is so many things that you take for granted after so many years of marriage, that a lot of things just seem normal. Yep, the bathroom scene is so common isn’t it? Yet it would have been horrifying before marriage. Thanks for sharing with #PasstheSauce
As soon as we have the space and the money I’d love to get two sinks – two loos would be even better!
Funnily, when we did consider getting two shower heads, or two toilet bowls? But that would be going too far?
Possibly a bit far!!
Haha, we’ve just hit the 5 year mark (when we were honeymooning in NYC, random Americans kept asking if we’d be back in time for ‘the big wedding’ and we kept saying we’d already had it – ours!!) and this is so true, particularly points 1 & 4!! I came to your post via #coolmumclub π
Happy wedding anniversary! Hope you had fun!x
Haha, we are approaching our 5 year anniversary next month! Luckily my husband shows no signs of turning into either of his parents. Me on the other hand… I seem to be taking the worst traits of each of mine! Eek! #coolmumclub
Don’t worry, I’m definitely turning into my mum. It’s inevitable!!
Ha ha, I think after my partner watching me give birth to twins, there is nothing can be more horrifying than that lol! He has also nursed me through some pretty crazy experiences π Love this post. #TwinklyTuesday
As long as you’re still together that’s the main thing!!
We are approaching our 6th anniversary! Def recognise a couple of these but glad to say the number twos are rserved for that sacred thing called ‘ME TIME’.
Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
Lol, yes we’ve been married nearly 7 years and I can definitely relate to this. I’m sure we both look more than 7 years old and we’re turning into our parents as well!
This made me realise that we have been together about five years now!! Totally agree with all points – and, as you might have guessed, I’ve long forgotten all special dates, etc. I rely on him to remind me because he’s much more sentimental! x #effitfriday
15 years this year. There’s very little that’s sacred any more… Loved your post! #effitfriday
Yeah, married just over five years as it happens. Your list is familiar, but I am unlikely to ever look like my in laws who were chain smokers for much of their lives! #TheList
This post made me smile. We’ve been married for nearly seven years, and I feel like in the last three I have aged ten π definitely the kids that do it! x
oh god this is so me! We’ve been married six now but have been together for 14 years so nothing is a bloody mystery!! The amount of times i say to him now “You sound just like your father” is crazy! #TheList
We’ve been married exactly five years this year too! One child down the line later and it took for the publicising of the duke and duchess’s anniversary to actually remind us that it was five years this year too – its definitely the kids that change things π Emily #TheList
Haha we’ve been together 8 years and married 3 today and I still don’t think he’s seen me wee! But the rest is spot on!