BB was exactly two and a half on Saturday. Apparently, the height of a child at two and a half is precisely half the height they will be when fully grown, and I’ve had the height chart at the ready for months to see what it will be. BB was just over 3ft 1 (pictured). Which could make her at least 6ft 2. Cripes.

After entering this information into my Dairy Diary (this is where all important milestones are recorded, just like my mum whose 1985 edition includes entries such as ‘crummy mummy and her brother played together all weekend.’ I’m not kidding – it really does) I started to think.

While such stature could indeed put BB in the running to become a super model, if she inherits Misery Guts’ clumsiness she could well turn out to be more Miranda than Macpherson. And while everyone says it’s good to be tall, there are downsides: at 6ft 7 and 6ft 4 respectively Misery Guts’ cousin and his wife recently eschewed a wedding gift list in favour of cash to have a bed they both actually fitted in specially made.

So it would appear it is possible to be too tall. In a fit of I’ve-spawned-a-giant panic I thought it best to double check my calculations, and used an online height predictor calculator instead (pictured).

This came out slightly less, at a more furniture-will-fit-me-acceptable 5ft 8. Either way, I will be shorter than BB. Not looking forward to that when it comes to stand-up teenage rows.