What you want to happen and what you don’t. That’s the point of a birth plan, the one single page in your otherwise extensive maternity notes in which you’re supposed to convey your hopes and fears for labour and birth to a midwife you’ve probably never met before.
Which is just one of the reasons, third time around, I’m not writing one.
Why I’m not writing a birth plan
When I had BB I quite literally laboured over the birth plan (apparently some hospitals are calling them birth ‘road maps’ now, the theory being that if it doesn’t quite go to plan you can take an alternative route and still get back on track. I’d love to know how long it took them and how much it cost them to come up with that one).
I thought about BB’s birth plan long and hard – I filled in every section, making use of every spare inch of space, and even added asterisks in the margins in a bid to express my hopes for the ‘perfect’ water birth I’d pictured in my head.
Which all went out of the window when she was two weeks late and I was induced on the 15th day.
The total opposite of everything I’d hoped for happened – we’re talking strapped to a bed and monitored up complete with epidural, catheter and goodness knows how many other mysterious tubes – so when I had Little B three years later I didn’t bother writing one at all.
I left the page completely blank for fear that writing one thing would mean the total opposite would happen again. And it was just as well because everything happened so quickly my notes were on another floor in triage when I was actually ready to have him, leaving the midwife to record the time of birth on kitchen roll, so filling it in would have been a complete waste of time anyway.
This is the birth plan (sorry, road map) in my current maternity notes as it stands right now.
I’m tempted to leave the page totally blank again so as not to tempt fate, but I do really want a water birth and I’d like to get in the water as soon as possible, so I probably ought to make this known.
Did you write a birth plan and did it go according to plan? Or didn’t you bother?
Linking up with…
Mine didn’t go according to plan either. I wanted to try for a drug free birth, ended up with a c-section. Worst possible outcome. But you know what, it was totally worth it. Whatever way it happens, as long as that baby comes out healthy nothing else really matters in the long run. #bestandworst
Yes that’s very true, as long as mum and baby are healthy that’s all that really matters…
Haha – road map! I didn’t write one either, I also didn’t read much about birthing. I figured what I didn’t know couldn’t make me anxious! #familyfun
Yes that’s very true – ignorance is bliss!!
I wrote one the first time. But it was very much “this is what i’d like, but whatever really” and i didn’t get a single thing i wanted.
So with number 2, i just said “i don’t want an epidural, because i had a bad experience last time, but if i change my mind, that’s ok!” I didn’t write anything down. In the end i had the perfect birth! #familyfun
That’s so good to hear – that’s all we can ask for…
I was always booked into have a c section, but that ended up being an emergency one as I went into labour a week ahead of scheduled delivery date.
That proved to me that these birth plans aren’t necessarily worth the paper they’re written on!
Best of luck for your impending delivery lovely, I hope all goes well #bestandworst
Oh no! Just as well you didn’t write one!
I actually feel they’re really helpful and found it frustrating when I was pregnant and being told ‘oh God, don’t be stupid, you don’t need one because it NEVER goes to plan’. I knew that, but it still helped me prepare for the birth mentally because I had to think about all the different things that mIght happen. As it was, my planned water birth turned swiftly into ‘I want diamorphine now’ so I definitely think you need to be open to all options!
That’s interesting to hear – having had two totally different experiences so far I’d like to think I’ve thought of all the possibilies – but ask me on the other side and I may have a different answer!
As both my boys were induced I didn’t get to have the births I had hoped for. I didn’t write a birth plan for either of them. Good luck hun, I hope you get the water birth you want. #FamilyFun
I so hope I don’t have to be induced again…
Yep I had a vague birth plan last time, I wanted a water birth and ideally not an epidural (as I didn’t want to be stuck in bed)… but then my little one’s heart rate was a bit low and there was meconium when they broke my waters so we were both hooked up to monitors and I was stuck in bed! I asked for an epidural but they kept saying they’d do it soon and then it had progressed too quickly… sly!! This time I will go in with the same attitude – a water birth would be lovely but I’m well aware it might not happen like that. I hope you get to have your waterbirth this time! #FamilyFun
My first experience sounds similar to yours but second time I did get the water birth – fingers crossed we both get one next time too!
I didn’t have a birth plan with either of mine. One came at 33 weeks and the other 36 and both were born in under two hours so even if I did have one I doubt it would have gone to plan. Well the only ‘plan’ I had was in my mind was DRUGS. I had absolutely zero drugs with both labours so point in case I guess. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun xx
They sound like good labours though – speedy at least…
I had one… parts of it went to plan, parts didn’t. The bits that did go to plan were purely because I stood my ground and refused certain things—I don’t actually believe anyone read my birth plan.
If I had another baby I’d probably be more detailed actually then just say ‘please see my birth plan’ every time they tried to convince me to do something I didn’t want 🙂 #bestandworst
It’s very hard to talk though when you’re in the throes of labour!
I did have a birth plan but it went out the window way before the birth – I wanted a water birth but they wouldn’t let me because I had spd.
I didn’t really have a birth plan after being told I couldn’t have the water birth. I was on the antenatal ward for a week, then had a really hard labour which included no less than THREE epidurals which didnt work, and then ended up having a spinal injection and an emergency c-section..
#familyfun
Oh no! That sounds horrendous…needless to say I hope that doesn’t happen to me..!
I did not bother. It’s going to go the way it’s going to go, so it was better not having expectations for me. I’d also heard that some nurses and doctors, at least in the States, think you’re a high maintenance patient who doesn’t respect their expertise when you bring in a detailed birth plan, so I didn’t want to deal with that either. Turns out that I had great doctors and nurses, so it wouldn’t have been a problem, but I had no idea what to expect. Also, I just didn’t want to think about the birth that much because I was pretty terrified. #ablogginggoodtime
Good points!
I had one all laid out for the grem and luckily it went to plan. For my second I was too scared I would have her on the bathroom floor or something, so never bothered! Just did the same thing as my first but much faster. I was always happy to go with the flow. Lots of luck for you lovely and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
Sounds like you’ve had really good experiences both times x
I have wrote a birth plan with either of mine, My midwife explained how pointless it would be and to just have an idea about what pain relief I would like etc, I didn’t go in with a plan and if I had one it would of been pointless as within an hour things started to go wayyyy out of my control! I always say to friends etc how pointless they are but I do understand how some feel the need to have a plan in place. For me though its a no. 🙂
#ablogginggoodtime
I guess it depends what makes you feel positive and in control…
I didn’t have a birth plan for either of my two. I had two completely different births and having a birth plan wouldn’t have changed that!
#ablogginggoodtime
That’s how I feel too…
I think my birth plan just said get the baby out as quickly and painlessly as possible! #bestandworst
Which is all we can hope for!
I had a birth plan and nothing went according to that plan so next time I will do exactly the same as you I will leave that page totally blank
#FamilyFunLinky
Yep – it’s the best way I think!
He he, no I didn’t write one for my first time and I won’t for my 2nd. The only plan I have for my 2nd so far is to conceive it! Lol… I was very happy to just go with the flow and although I would have loved a water birth etc etc I knew it wouldn’t necessarily be available so I was happy to just say let’s go as natural as possible and see what the little man does! Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky
I think open minded is the best way to be…
I did write a birth plan for Jessica’s birth – I knew it would be medicalised but there were things that were important to me within that and it helped me to write them down and the midwives were brilliant at helping them to happen. Second time around was a much briefer plan – but I had two midwives that I knew very well and I didn’t feel such a need as I knew that the way they worked fitted in well with what I wanted. Good luck with your birth “road map” and hope you do manage to have a water birth this time around x #familyfun
Thank you! Sounds like you had different experiences but were lucky knowing the midwives x
I’m with you on this one. I said do what you need to get him out safely and only they know the best way how. He arrived by emergency c-section on Christmas day 2013… needless to say I haven’t had another one yet! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh no! But the main thing is he arrived safely…
Just popping back from #ablogginggoodtime xx
Thank you!
Haha it did make me laugh” she recorded the time of birth on kitchen roll ” I did write a birth plan, like you I wanted a water birth,. Bubba foiled that plan arriving 5 weeks early by c section, Oh well there is always next time … Thank you for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
I’ve still got the kitchen roll too! Fingers crossed for you next time x