After a particularly bad day on the front line of parenting one of my friends recently let rip about her woes on Facebook. As well as messages of support and sympathy from other knackered mothers, she also got a response from her own mum who declared parenting was infinitely harder in her day owing to the endless washing and drying of terry towelling nappies and the lack of support for new mums.
This got me thinking: was motherhood really harder back then? Do modern day mums REALLY have it easier than generations before us?
For us terry towelling nappies are a choice, we’ve got microwave sterilisers, baby wipes and tumble dryers and access to a seemingly endless array of classes from baby massage and baby sensory to baby yoga and swimming to get us out of the house. Not to mention coffee shops on every corner offering a welcome cup of tea and much-needed slice of cake.
In my mum’s day a mother and baby group once a week in the local church hall was as good as it got, there was no moral support to be found at the touch of a button on a mobile phone or computer and you had to make your own tea and cake.
Yet for generations before us one salary was generally enough to support the household, and one parent stayed at home while the other went out to work. These days many parents, like myself, are juggling being a mum or dad with supporting the family financially, which brings with it all sorts of added pressures.
There’s the eye-watering cost of nursery fees, the feeling you’re being stretched in all directions all the time, and a pace of life which seems to get faster and faster, threatening to overwhelm you at any minute.
Is life easier for modern day mums? I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I think motherhood today is just different to how it was then, with each generation facing their own set of challenges.
What do you think? Do modern day mums have it easier? Or is parenthood in fact harder these days?
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I don’t think it’s easier as these days we are faced with problems and things they were around years ago. #coolmumclub xx
I definitely look back at my Mum and wonder how she seemed to be breezing it as I was growing up? But in reality, maybe that’s just being a Mum – taking on the world and it’s problems, but letting your child see the world as a perfect and happy place.
An interesting thought though…not sure I know the answer!
Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub x
It’s a catch 22. I think nowadays we want more. Weekends away, theme parks, holidays & this all costs money. My mum was a stay at home parent & loved it but we didn’t go abroad & holidays were everyou 3 years not annually like me. Instead of coffee shops neighbours went to each others houses. Kids played outside unaccompanied. It was just different & cheaper. Most mum’s now work. Is this better or worse or just different? #coolmumclub lifeinthemumslane
This is really interesting – I also think there’s a bit of a blessing/curse situation these days in that we have the internet and social media. We have access to all this information about parenting, so many opinions and theories and styles – it can be overwhelming and I think it makes it harder to trust your instinct. Back in the day (I’m talking further back than our parents, I suppose!) they had a few parenting books but in general people relied on their families (and families tended to be closer knit and more supportive, it was quite the multi-generational affair!) and their instincts. So I guess it was simpler in that sense. Practically it probably was harder though with the washing and cooking and shopping! Hooray for online shopping. #fartglitter
I think that it is just different. Even when my mum had me as a baby, my dad earned enough for her to not have to work. My husband is on more than my dad was but we still cant afford life. Things are more expensive and they are just different to how they were. It is helpful to have the internet and technology though because you have a support network constantly. I would never have thought about it though, so I do love this post! #fartglitter
Interesting post. Labour saving devices make a difference to household chores but we face difficult challenges with juggling work and child care I think. It’s probably no easier or harder now – just different. #fartglitter
I often ponder on this. I do think that we have an easier ride as far as the housework is concerned, but then I think that the free time that this should have created has just been swamped with other demands. I think that life is a lot more judgemental nowadays and we all place ourselves under unrealistic pressure to be the perfect Pinterest Mum. My grandma always tells me that when a new mum had a baby in her generation, the whole village and all the family would take it in turns to prepare meals and help out with cleaning and washing etc, and that the mum would literally stay in bed with her new baby for at least 2 weeks to recover and rest. I was home within 3 hours with my second and loading the dishwasher!? I think times have just changed.
Great post – Thanks for sharing with #fartglitter x
Oh gosh this is a difficult one. I think the challenges are different I couldn’t say who had it worse. Perhaps it is more mentally and emotionally demanding for women now but less physical but then again getting up and going to work after another sleepless night is pretty physically exhausting to me! I agree that it’s not so simple! #fartglitter
It’s never fair to compare now with ‘back in the day’. Times change, pressures change and so do the difficulties those changes bring. There will always be someone who thinks that things are so much easier now than ‘way back when’, but I don’t think so.
These days parents may have more mod and cons to help make life easier around the house, but like you said, often both parents work to keep the money coming in. I don’t believe that parenting has become any harder or any easier (like that’s ever going to happen), I just think parenting has changed.
#FartGlitter