At the grand ‘old’ age of 36 and being pregnant with baby number three I am officially classed as a ‘geriatric mother’.
The fact I was 35 and three quarters when I actually became pregnant appears to be neither here nor there: because I’m over 35 and pregnant, medically speaking I am ‘of advanced maternal age’.
While I’ll be the first to admit motherhood has aged me in ways I never imagined, I do think the term geriatric is going a bit far. Admittedly my back creaks in ways it never used to and bending down in a certain way can be a bit of a challenge, but geriatric?
All this begs the question: how old is too old when it comes to becoming a mum?
This week it was revealed that Geri Halliwell (sorry, Horner), aka Ginger Spice, is expecting her second baby. But instead of headlines telling us ‘Ginger Spice pregnant with baby number two’ the headlines declared ‘Ginger Spice pregnant with baby number two at 44‘.
Clearly the 44 bit is considered important.
The thing is, surely timing is more important than age when it comes to having a baby.
For example, for me my 20s just wasn’t the right time to start a family. I spent my 20s establishing my career, in my 30s I was then in a position to be able to take a step back and focus on starting a family while going freelance and (just about) keep the money coming in, and in my 40s, with child bearing and breastfeeding out of the way, I will hopefully be able to focus on getting my body back and building my career again.
For Geri, 16 months after marrying her husband sounds to me like the perfect and natural time to welcome a baby, even if she is 44.
And surely lifestyle and genetics also play a part in how ‘old’ your body is, and can’t one 44 or 36-year-old be as maternally ‘fit’ as a 24 or 26-year-old?
What do you think? How old were you when you had your babies and do you think age matters?
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I always wanted to be a ‘young’ mum – when my sister had her baby at 23, I thought I’d would start popping them out a similar age. However, when the time came, we simply weren’t ready. We had our first baby at 26, so still pretty young, but most importantly at a time that was right for us – I still had many, many people (mostly at work) telling me I was too young to have a baby (ignoring the fact I’d been with my husband for 8 years and married for almost 3!). I guess medically there can be problems with being an “older” mum, but I wouldn’t class 36 anywhere near old! Especially when it is your 3rd baby. #bestandworst
Such an interesting question! My MIL was always telling us that we were leaving having kids till too late. I don’t agree. We were 30 for the first and 34 for our second. I would love to have a third but I keep getting told that I am on the wrong side of 35 – RUDE! I think it is down to our personal choice and what we think. I certainly didn’t feel ready to have a child before 30. I now feel that I could handle another child great! #BestandWorst
Great post. I think when the person is ready and happy to is absolutely perfect. It is their life, decision and the one who will be dealing with it. I don’t judge, as long as the person is happy and healthy who are we to judge a 44 year old and an 18 year old. #bestandworst
I always wanted a baby before I was 30 so had the grem at 28 and this one at 31. However, some I knew still don’t have little ones and others were earlier. I think it is when it right for you, money wise, family wise and loads of other reasons. I’m not sure I am done with babies but I will be pushing 35 if I had anymore. Interesting post!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx
I was 24 when I had Lewis and 26 when I had Joseph and always said I would never have a baby after 30 as for me, I thought that would be too old. How wrong I was!! I had Eva at 32, Megan at 33 and Harry at 34 and realised that actually, it is more common to have babies in your thirties these days. Most of my friends are my age, 36, and just having their first! I’m quite a young mum compared to Lewis’s friends which is good to know as I worried I would be an old mum when the others are the same age. #coolmumclub
I was 30 & 33 when I had each of the girls and that seemed the right time for me – settled, ‘grown up’, established career and able to provide. However, I think the right time is whenever is right for you…if you want to have a baby young, older, or both (like my Mum who had two sets…one in late teens and one late thirties) then that’s your decision. Thank you for linking up to #coolmumclub!
I had my son when I was 25, but I always wanted kids young and didn’t really have a ‘career’ that would be affected. The biggest factor is probably that my partner is a lot older than me – he was 38 when I got pregnant.
I was my parents ‘surprise’ 4th baby and so my mum was 36 when she had me. It’s a lot more common now than it was then, I think, as so many people focus on careers etc first. Geriatric doesn’t seem quite the appropriate term, does it?!
Congratulations by the way, I hadn’t realised you were expecting again! How exciting. #ablogginggoodtime
I was 26 and 29 when they were born, I’m glad I got it out of the way but wouldn’t have been ready earlier. Personally, I do think it’s all down to physical health. There are women, like Jennifer Anniston and Ming Na Wen for example, who are almost or even past 50 who make a lot of 20yr olds look like slobs! I think the term ‘geriatric’ pregnancy is extremely rude and almost ‘shaming’. x #coolmumclub
Is that the actual official term? That’s awful. I was 24 first time and then 29 the second. But since this last one i’ve taken up running and pilates, given up bulimia, and am generally a lot fitter and healthier than i was in my early 20’s. I’d imagine at 40 i will still be in much better shape than i was at 21.
It always strikes me as odd that it’s so much different for men, i mean i know they’re bodies don’t have much involvement, but as i say, ours aren’t really defined be age. My husband is 40, and would like another baby, no one ever comments that he’s an old dad, but if i was 40 they would.
#coolmumclub
This is crazy! I read a news article recently that said the average age to have your first child in the UK is 30.3. So that doesn’t give you much time to have others before your in the ‘geriatric’ category! I think you’re so right that timing is the important factor #ABloggingGoodTime
I hate the term ‘geriatric mother’! That’s definitely what I was called – I had my twins just a couple of weeks after turning 40. My first child was born when I was 33. It’s not always a choice for people to have children late. Maybe they haven’t met the right partner earlier on, maybe they’ve struggled for years with infertility. I find having young children now makes me feel more motivated to try to get and keep myself fit and healthy for as long as possible for them. #coolmumclub
Ahh geriatric mother, that’s a horrible term! I think it’s completely up to each individual when they decide to have a baby. I was 22 when I had Leo and baby number 2 ks due next week and I’m 25. I always knew I wanted to have kids young, I do worry that I won’t have a career of my own but I have plenty of life left yet to get a job! When to start a family is a personal choice and I don’t think women should feel bad for having them when they’re young or when they’re older.xx #coolmumclub
I chose to have my children between 25-30 years old as I felt I was mature enough and it was safer for pregnancy.
I don’t think age matters provided the mom can handle it. I can’t imagine having another child at this age. I’m impressed that you’re doing it! I just feel the older a woman gets the harder it is on their body to have kids and to keep up with a baby. Beyond that, I don’t see the harm!
I was 34 when I had my first and five days shy of 42 when I had my second! The only time I felt like an older mum was when I was sat waiting for a scan and another mum to be walked in and gave her date of birth, making her about 16 or 17 which made me feel positively ancient! Sometimes though we can’t plan these things and when it happens it happens.
I was 37 when we had ours and don’t think I would have done as good a job if we’d had her younger. I do however, feel as if I’ve aged ten years in the last five! #KCACOLS
Age is just a number! You’re as old/young as you feel. Its all about how you feel and when you feel ready. For some this is 20s and for some this is 40s being ready is more important than your age in my eyes. Great post! #KCACOLS
Wow I did not know the cut off was 36! If it were men they wouldn’t use such terms. Everyone would be like well done good for you etc rather than ooh aren’t you going to be a bit more tired this time round? I spent most of my early 20’s pissed so definitely would not have been a good time for me! #KCACOLS
Loved this post – it’s such a fascinating subject. I was 30, 33 and 37 having mine so I guess I was a geriatric mother. I was building my career in my twenties (which ok) and spent my thirties being pregnant, breast-feeding and looking after little kids (which was amazing). My forties was all about raising them and by the time I hit 50 (which is next year) my youngest will be 12. Believe it or not I feel quite a young Mum (probably deluded I know). I think the timing was just about right for me. #KCACOLS
I don’t think age matters at all…… for most people. I think the timing needs to be right. That said, I was encouraged medically to have children young. Type 1 diabetes cant have long term consequences on your body and since I currently have no complications they suggested that if i was thinking of children then I should consider doing it sooner rather than later. My sister is 40, with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Like you – her time came later. And she’s thoroughly enjoying herself! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
I had my first, and so far only child, when I was 33. I am now 36 and a single mum. I don’t know that I will have another baby. I have to find a suitable man who I want to spend the rest of my life with first. In my head, I kind of feel that I have four years left. I don’t know why I have made 40 my milestone, but I just have.
Pen x #KCACOLS
P.S. did they actually call you a ‘geriatric’ mother? I saw this on Bridget Jones the other day and just thought it was Bridget’s doctor being rude.
Hi Natalie, you do have to laugh at the papers, I’m surprised they didn’t print the value of any houses she owns (that always seems important, no matter what the news item is!). I had my last child at thirty, which suited me just fine. I have friends who had their children at a really young age and that suited them just fine. It’s different strokes for different folks. I do however think it’s slightly wrong when on the odd occasion a sixty-year-old woman has gone and had IVF to get pregnant. But again, who am I to judge?
#ablogginggoodtime
I honestly don’t see a problem with how old you are, as long as you are in good health & know you have support! I was a young mum, falling pregnant on my 19th birthday and got so many looks! I see older new mums around here quite a bit these days and think it’s lovely tbh! x #KCACOLS
Geriatric is a term that does throw up some unwelcome connotations. There must be a better term that could be used. I don’t think age matters. Like you say it’s a matter of timing. I’m not sure there is really any winning, someone will always have an opinion about weither you are too young or old…. I was 27 and 29 when I gave birth to my girls. I didn’t concider myself either young or old, it was the right time for me in my marriage and career, it’s not a decision I will ever regret. However I live in an area where a majority of women have babies in the late thirties and early forties. I found myself being judged as a young mum…… it was a little odd and unkind because I never once thought they were too ‘over the hill’ to have kids.
#KCACOLS
I was 30 at the age of having my daughter and dont know if i will get the chance to have another but i would like to. I think it doesnt matter to an extent. what matters most is what kind of mother you are
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
I don’t see a problem, and to be honest people are getting older nowadays and it’s becoming more normal. I’m 25 and just had my first, I don’t consider myself as a young mum, I had a baby because it was the right time in my life, career and my husband and I had always said we would love a baby by the time we were 25! Most of my mummy friends are in their 30’s and I don’t look at them and think they’re old! #KCACOLS