This post was written in partnership with Andrex
‘Nobody wants to be the kid who does a number two in their pants’. Those were the words of BB’s reception teacher when, you guessed it, she did a number two in her pants.
Her teacher wasn’t being nasty; she was simply stating a fact. We probably all remember the kid who did do a number two at some stage during our school years, and let’s face it, pooing your pants is not something you want to be remembered for.
Kids instinctively seem to know this, which is why, when the p-bomb does happen at school, it’s not surprising if they a) don’t want to admit it and b) don’t want to talk about it.
I know this because despite having been 100% toilet trained for almost two years by the time she started school BB started having ‘accidents’ within two weeks of starting in reception. And they were never of the number one variety, either. They were always number twos, worst luck.
So what can you do about it? While turning a blind eye and hoping it’s a phase that will pass may sound like the easiest option, having been there, done it and dealt with the number two I’m of the opinion it’s probably best to face the situation head on.
Here’s my advice:
1. Talk to them about it. They might be embarrassed and not want to talk about it, but the old saying is true: a problem shared is a problem halved. Just letting them know it’s ok, you’re not cross and you’d like to help them goes a long way to getting to the root of the problem.
2. Talk to the teacher about it. Having talked to BB it quickly transpired that she thought she was the only child having accidents at school. Having talked to her teacher it quickly transpired that in fact lots of children were having accidents too – she simply dealt with them so discreetly that none of the other children noticed. The relief on BB’s face when I told her this was plain to see, and she was no longer frightened of going to tell her teacher if and when an accident happened.
3. Try and identify a pattern. Do the accidents tend to be in the morning, in the afternoon or after lunch? If a pattern does emerge something as simple as asking the teacher to remind them to go to the loo at these times might be enough to nip it in the bud (this is ultimately what worked for us).
4. Re-instate the number two chart. If you used a chart with sticker or prize rewards when you were first getting them to do their business in the loo, reintroduce the idea to encourage them to work towards not having accidents during the day. Andrex has a downloadable star chart featuring all the days of the week and you’ll be surprised what the promise of a chocolate bar on Friday can achieve.
5. Don’t over-think it. Having accidents at school probably is a phase that will pass. I had no idea that toilet training regression is an actual ‘thing’, and perfectly normal. Remember life as they know it has just been turned upside down – there’s new people, a new environment and new routines to get to grips with – which is a lot for anyone to contend with let alone a four or five-year-old.
Has your little one just started school? Do you have any top tips in the toilet department?
This post was written in conjunction with Andrex as part of their Andrex School Readiness campaign. Apparently 63% of parents don’t think their children are ready to go to the loo alone when they start school, so they’ve developed the Andrex Clean Routine to help. They’ve got some great advice and tips which are worth a look!
Linking up with…
This is a tough one for children. such an emphasis is put on them all being big boys and girls in the all new world of school. Your tips are great. Being kind and gentle and exploring why it is happening is so important. It happens to so many kids and is certainly a phase. #twinklytuesday
Great tips, as a mum who has a child who poo’d his pants I can say those tips are what worked for us.
Carol
#twinklytuesday
Very useful tips here. I honestly didn’t know toilet training regression was a thing, will be prepared for it when Leo starts school next year. The Andrew star chart sounds like a great idea xx #TwinklyTuesday
My child did this and I thought it was just her to be honest! Not full on accidents but she wouldn’t quite get to the toilet in time – she got too caught up in playing with her new friends and didn’t want to miss out by going to the toilet – so she kept leaving it too late. #twinklytuesday
Bless her. I reckon sometimes you just don’t want to go at school. I always remember wanting to go in the morning before I left! I think the strategies you suggest are really good – always best to be open xx #twinklytuesday
My eldest isn’t in nursery yet and I’m hoping to have him potty trained by the time he goes next year. I don’t think the teacher should have said that it seems quite cruel to me from what I’ve read about potty training its all about encouraging them and not making them feel ashamed if they do have accident. #twinklytuesday
Ive never experiwnced this, but a friends little boy did when he started school. They delt with it by not making a huge deal of it. #TwinklyTuesday
We’re having such a nightmare with potty training. Archie’s four next week and has pretty much mastered weeing in the potty but number two’s are a totally different battle. He has Autism & can’t talk yet so we’ve got a whole different situation going on but we’re making steps in the right direction #TwinklyTuesday
Mine hasn’t had an accident, but I was worried that she wouldn’t clean herself well enough once she started preschool. I wouldn’t be surprised if that 63% number was low #bestandworst
My son is 6 and has started having “half” accidents but every night. I know I need to chat to the teachers about it but this has reminded me that he’s probably not alone. He’s been fully trained for 3 years. But then we’ve had a lot of upheaval this summer with moving. That teacher sounds like she has a good sense of humour though. No one DOES want to be that kid! I remember still being mortified when i was 4 when i had an accident….it will never leave me! hehe! #TwinklyTuesdays
My twins have just started reception and thankfully no accidents yet but not holding my breath I agree kids do always remember this great tips #bestandworst
They are still so little to have to be all independent at school aren’t they. Alfie can go for a pee and poo with no issues but he will not do a number 2 at school, uh uhh no way! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
Some great tips, lets hope it is just a phase and that things improve x
My niece did this when she started school last year and it transpired that there was 2 reasons for it. Firstly she didn’t know where the toilets were to begin with, and then secondly she didn’t know if she was allowed to just go when she needed to or if she had to ask the teacher first and she would get all flustered about what to do and then it was too late! x #KCACOLS
Some great tips in there! Such a big deal starting school it’s not surprising things don’t always go to plan! #KCACOLS
I was never diagnosed with ADD but it wouldn’t surprise me if I was, I was one of those kids that found it really hard to concentrate, especially if something exciting was happening. Paying attention to what my body needed was a real problem for me even when it was obvious to my teachers. That resulted in a lot of accidents right through primary school. If there was a world record for it I am sure the prise would have gone to me.
Most of the teachers just gave up but some persevered, like my grade 7 teacher. She was determined to get me sorted out by the time I started high school and luckily for me she did. My very first day of grade 7 with her as my teacher was really embarrassing when she asked in her very loud voice if I was the boy that still pooed in his pants. Instead of getting to go with my friends during our first break I had to go to her staff room. Even though my underwear were clean I still had to sit on the toilet while she lectured me about how a boy my age shouldn’t being doing it his underwear.
I wasn’t allowed to start my first break or lunch break until I had gone to the toilet and my body eventually got into a routine. When my underwear were still clean at the end of the day she always gave me some sort of prize which I always looked forward to.
Oh poor poppet! Starting school is a big transition for kids. I know my niece starting wetting the bed again when she first started school but it soon stopped once she had adjusted. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
Poor thing, my sister used to wet herself everyday on the way home from school when she first started, my mum eventually found out it’s because she didn’t like using the school loos. Once she got to the bottom of it and spoke to the teacher mys sister soon stopped. #KCACOLS
Ahh no 🙁 Thats really good advice though and good to remember. Its only natural though that these kinds of things happen around such a momentous change in a kids life. #KCACOLS
aww I really worry this will be us with b next year when he starts school. he is very hit and miss with number twos. great advice tho and spot on with not overthinking it. it WILL be fine! #KCACOLS
Awwh. Jane is still in pull-ups and I know it’s cos she doesn’t like talking about poo. Shame #kcacols
Bless her! Really good tips and advice here! #KCACOLS
Oh poor thing! Thanks for sharing so many great tips and tricks though! #KCACOLS
Great advice here for any parents and little ones going through this. Starting school is such a huge thing, it’s not surprising that some children have some regression in one area or another. x #KCACOLS