Two hours. That’s how much uninterrupted sleep I managed to get the night before I was due to interview Marina Fogle, the bright-eyed, bouncy-haired wife of TV presenter and adventurer Ben Fogle about her latest venture, a babysitting app.
Mum to two adorable kids – Ludo, seven, and Iona, six – an author and co-founder of ante-natal course The Bump Class, Marina appears to have this motherhood thing licked.
Whereas I – itchy-eyed and dull-haired thanks to the lost sleep of breastfeeding and co-founder of a house that looks like a tip with a dishwasher stuffed to the gunnels with dirty dishes because I forgot to buy the tablets, don’t.
There’s nothing like someone apparently winning at life to exacerbate feelings of failing at your own, so if I’m totally honest it was with some effort that I put on a bright smile and mustered up the energy to interview Marina over the phone.
Why all mums deserve a break, by Marina Fogle
The latest string to Marina’s bow is bubble, an app which uses social and community networks to enable parents to find and book babysitters trusted by their friends at the touch of a button.
All babysitters are identity and criminal records checked and you can pay them via the app, so there’s no need to have cash to hand, plus you can book them at the last minute. Think Uber but for babysitters.
“If your husband comes home on a Friday night and says he fancies going out for pizza you can do it,” Marina told me. “There’s no need to check if family are available and arrange it all in advance, you can just go.”
Which you have to admit does sound appealing.
The thing is though, although we’ve gone on holiday without the kids and we do treat ourselves to the occasional mini break, we’ve never left our three with anyone but family and friends. Leaving them with a stranger seems a bit, well, indulgent.
But Marina said: “It’s really important to have a bit of time out. You might think ‘I’m going to be a full-time mum, I shouldn’t need any help’ but your previous job wasn’t 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Everybody needs a break. I don’t think it’s indulgent to have time out, it’s a necessity.”
It was at this point in the interview I began to understand why Marina has made parenting her niche. She’s clearly passionate about her subject and although I was supposed to be the one interviewing her our call felt like a form of therapy with her telling me why I should be making time for me. She was saying things I needed to hear.
And she’s also quite right: time out is a necessity.
“Of course having a baby is lovely but three months in you’re at home doing menial stuff like sterilising bottles and emptying the dishwasher and you’re largely doing it on your own. There’s no-one to talk to – parenting can be really lonely,” says Marina.
Indeed a recent survey by One Poll found 22% of parents report feeling isolated and cut off from friends and family, 17% feel frustrated and 12% feel resentful and wished they had a bit more freedom.
“I remember going to Ludo’s first nativity play and looking round at all the children,” Marina told me. “You can’t tell which ones were born by cesarean or which ones were born in water, but you can tell which ones are happy. Investing in yourself and your relationship is the best thing you can do for your child.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that before, but she’s right.
“Having a child doesn’t give you a glue or bond meaning you’ll always stay together,” she says. “It’s almost like they’re born with a pick axe and start chopping away at you. And when communication stops it’s very hard to start it again.”
“When you have time out you’re reminded why you fell in love in the first place. It recalibrates that.”
Which is what bubble is all about.
“Most people are good people and this is about being put in touch with them,” Marina says. “I remember the first time I used bubble – I thought: ‘should I get her to come half an hour early?’ You know when you just know with someone, well the moment she walked through the door I knew it would be fine. The kids were asleep and all we really needed was someone to be there. I remember shutting the door of my house and thinking ‘this is amazing’.”
It certainly sounds amazing.
And just what I, in my itchy-eyed, dull-haired state, need.
Do you leave your children with a babysitter in order to have much-needed time out? Have you used the bubble app, and if not, would you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
A really interesting read, I’fd also feel a bit dubious leaving my daughter with someone I didn’t know, but also feel really strongtly that parents do need time out and not all are lucky enough to have family living close by. I’ll be checking out the Bubble app to see if its something we can use. Thanks for sharing #familyfunlinky
I have only ever left my kids with friends or family. Booey has dinner at her dad’s a few nights a week so we get a little time to ourselves. An app like this would have been nice when the kids were younger though.
#FamilyFun
We always used babysitters but possibly because we know lots of trusted teenagers who cleaned with us here on Saturdays so it made it easy. When we lived in Surrey and our first two kids were tiny I don’t think we did go out, the app would have been a great help. #TwinklyTuesday
This seems like a great idea. I very rarely go out with my husband and leave my children. If I did they would go to the grandparent’s house or have them over ours. Unfortunately, I really do not trust babysitters. I don’t know what it is, but I will never use one, but the app seems great for those that do. 🙂 x
#twinklytuesday
I have only ever left mine with family. I’m not sure how I’d feel about leaving her with someone we didn’t know. Though saying that, the prospect of the break is very appealing! Haha #FamilyFunLinky
One of the things I miss most about pre-baby life is the ability to just go out on a whim, I’m always a little sad when my friends have anot ad hoc wine night and I can’t go. So this, to me, sounds amazing! #bloggersbest
Yes to this. We’re still human beings with wants, needs and feelings. That doesn’t just change the second we pop a baby out.
Although, I do find it hard leaving my son as he gets older. But enjoy the time apart when I’m doing whatever I’m doing. #bloggersbest
I found it hard with my first children but as I have had more I don’t find it so hard to leave them that probably sounds bad maybe as you have more children you just become less highly strung 🙂
This sounds amazing although it would take done courage to do it for the first time! Great interview lovely thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
We are yet to use ‘proper’ babysitters, we’ve pretty much only ever used Grandparents but we keep chatting about finding a reputable babysitter.I bet that was a fab interview to do even though you were a tad bleary eyed. Thanks for linking up! #BloggersBests
Sounds like an amazing interview. I 100% agree that parents need time out occasionally. So far we have always relied on grandparents as both sets live within a 10 minute drive. I’m not sure I could leave them with a stranger. I used to do a lot of babysitting from the age of 13 and was pretty good at it, but the parents all either knew me or my mum (she was the local childminder) so there was already an element of trust. It’s good that they are all vetted but I would still need to get to know them a bit first. I’d also hate for one of my kids to wake up from a nightmare or something and be met by a stranger so they would definitely need to meet them first. It is a really great idea though and if you can see that someone you know has recommended them that would make you feel more secure.
Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x
Having time out is important. I’m not sure I could leave my girls with a stranger but the app does sound like a good way of finding a babysitter that you should be able to trust if you don’t have the support of family or friends available to allow you to have that time out. #twinklytuesday
Aww you sound like me. Sleeping doesn’t happen much on my house. Nor does time for myself haha. We do all deserve a break! x #twinklytuesday
I love this idea! We are lucky enough to have my parents living just 30 mins up the road for babysitting but we need to book well in advance, so this could be handy. Great interview! X #kcacols
taking time out is so important isnt it. and being a parent is so tough. bubble app sounds great but luckily we have the inlaws just down the road! thanks for joining #KCACOLS. Come back next time!
agree with this 100%. we are very lucky to have two grammies that give us some time off once in a while #KCACOLS
This would’ve been perfect last week. We have family and friends but they all have more interesting lives than us. #kcacols
I’ve only left my kids with a certain few family members! But I get really paranoid! This sounds great though!
#KCACOLS