You might think it’s a ridiculous question and one with an obvious answer: of course not.
But with the UK in the grip of the coronavirus pandemic labouring and giving birth alone is suddenly a very real possibility facing expectant mamas like me.
At the time of writing (March 30) in our neck of the woods (Brighton and Hove) birth partners are now banned from theatres, antenatal wards and post natal wards, meaning anyone needing a planned or emergency cesarean must go through the experience alone.
One birthing partner is allowed to be there during active labour and delivery, assuming they are showing no symptoms of coronavirus and haven’t in the 14 days prior to labour, but after that they must leave the hospital – and their partner and new baby behind. The rules are changing daily – and when I say daily I mean sometimes several times a day – and I’m terrified it means I’m going to be forced to labour and birth alone.
Will I be forced to give birth alone?
At the time of writing I have just under two weeks until my due date, and I’m booked in for a hospital birth. Our hospital trust is ‘currently’ allowing one birth partner during labour and delivery – the operative word being currently. Hospitals in Ireland are already banning birth partners completely and goodness knows what the situation will be like here in two weeks’ time.
Then there’s the added anxiety that if anyone in our household displays symptoms of coronavirus between now and then Misery Guts won’t be allowed to come with me.
You might also think there’s the option of home birth instead, but (unsurprisingly) hospital trusts up and down the country are withdrawing home birth services – including ours. The problem is ambulances – or lack of them: if we needed to be transferred to hospital for any reason they simply don’t have the paramedics and ambulances available.
Also unsurprisingly, demand for private midwifery services has gone through the roof and if we had the money it’s certainly something I’d explore for peace of mind that I won’t be forced to labour and give birth alone. But we don’t, so we can’t.
This is my fourth baby and even though I’ve done this three times before it’s not something I would ever entertain doing alone, so I feel desperately sorry for all the first time parents out there – especially the mamas who already know they’re going to need a c-section. I simply cannot imagine being wheeled into theatre for an emergency or planned c-section without someone you know there to hold your hand, speak for you, offer reassurance and support you.
The end of pregnancy can be worrying enough knowing labour is imminent, without the added anxiety of being forced to go through it alone and without the support of the birth partner you had no reason to think would be banned from being there, missing out on both the birth and the first few precious hours.
It should also be an exciting time – the end of what feels like a very long road when you relax and rest as much as possible, excitedly shop for last minute bits and bobs and sleep as much as you can before you finally get to meet your baby. But instead, at the time of writing and with my maternity leave non-existent owing to the schools and nurseries being closed and three kids at home, I’m exhausted and filled with nothing but anxiety, fear and dread.
Are you due to give birth in the next few weeks or know someone who is? If you have any tips for coping or have any words of wisdom I’d love to hear what they are!
Oh gosh! What a worry for you! It’s not the type of stress you need this close to your due date. Sending love and hugs and I hope your husband is allowed at the birth x
No. I can’t imagine giving birth without my husband there. (He, on the other hand, would have been quite happy to miss it.) I hope it works out and the policy relaxes in time for you. #mmbc
No, it’s absolutely not a ridiculous question. If this was happening when i was pregnant, i would be feeling the same way. There’s already so much to think (worry) about on the run-up to the due date with the worry of having to do it all alone.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any words of wisdom. But i hope it all works out ok and misery guts can be there to support you. #MMBC
I really feel for you. I have envisaged situations I would not want to be in and yours in one of them. Wishing you all the very best. I am sure it will all work out ok and as unlikely as it sounds you will probably laugh about all this in due course. #MMBC Seek all the support you can, keep being honest about your feelings and it might be worth you checking out Emma Kenny’s You Tube channel and Live Clinics where she takes questions and answers them in a really helpful and down to earth fashion
I really feel for you, having a baby is such a wonderful time, which should be shared with family and friends, good luck with everything, you can get through this #fhatfridaylinky@_karendennis
My heart really does go out to you lovely. It must be such a stressful time for you all. Sending you lots of love and the biggest hug! You will get through this. xx
Ceratinly a big worry, but you won’t be alone, your midwife will be with you. I know it’s not the same as having your partner, but fingers crossed he’ll be allowed in for at least the most important parts. What a difficult time we are living in. I wish you the very best and I hope it all goes to plan x
My heart goes out to you, this is such a huge thing, it doesn’t matter if it’s your first, fourth or twenty first every baby is special and every birth is emotional.
Such a stress that is not needed for birthing mamas and their partners.
Wishing you luck and a speedy healthy safe delivery #MMBC
Sending big hugs and buckets of strength. It’s a difficult time isn’t it. The not knowing and also changing situation. No matter which way things go, it’s amazing how resilient you’ll find you can be when needed. We’ll all be thinking of you and wish you a positive safe birth and recovery. Thank you for joining us for the #DreamTeamLinky xx