Everyone tells you thereβs a big difference between breastfeeding a newborn and breastfeeding a toddler. But what they fail to tell you is the minutiae of what that difference actually is.
Little B is 18 months old now and still fed on demand, so it occurred to me this is probably classed as extended breastfeeding. I have no idea exactly when breastfeeding becomes βextendedβ β after six months? A year? β but I think itβs fair to say weβre probably there.
So a bit like things they donβt tell you about breastfeeding, I thought Iβd compile a list of 10 things they donβt tell you about extended breastfeeding:
1. You think they’ll wean themselves naturally. They won’t. They’ll demand as much on the day you stop as they did on the day they were born. If not more.
2. In the beginning you can eat what you like – and then you can’t. At first, fuelled by breast feeding hunger, nothing touches the sides. But then, lulled into a false sense of security, it suddenly does. Damn.
3. They become conditioned to the sound of your nursing bra clasp, a bit like Pavlov’s dog. Such is their conditioning that they can hear that clip across a crowded room.
4. The groping of the boob they’re not feeding on becomes even more pronounced. And they don’t care where they are, or who’s looking.
5. They’ll continue to stick their fingers in your mouth, in your eyes and your bellyΒ button while feeding. Only their fingers are bigger now, andΒ those fingers are stronger.Β Ouch.
6. Chewing gum boob. When they get distracted from the task in hand and turn to look at something else – taking you with them.
7. Life carries on without you. The muffled sound of the TV programme you were looking forward to on the other side of the wall, the friends catching up round the table without you – you lose count of the hours you’ve lost nursing. And then you feel guilty and let them chomp away for a bit longer, even though they’re actually asleep.
8. You reluctantly replace your first nursing bras when you realise you’ve been wearing them every day for a year and there’s no getting away from the fact they’re no longer white, but a rather mottled shade of grey. And the dream of a lacy underwired affair seems ever more distant.
9. You’re no longer proud of your milk-filled boobage. The novelty of a cleavage you previously thought only possible with cosmetic surgery has worn off, and while apparently still delivering the same amount of milk, the size of your boobage has slowly but surely shrunk.
10. You have no absolutely no idea how to go about weaning the strapping,Β chest-thumping toddler you now find in your arms. And you have no idea how you ended up here, either.
I would like to add a disclaimer that this post is by no means designed to put anyone off extended breastfeeding and is purely based on my own experience, which I have loved!
Do you have experience of breastfeeding? How did you go about stopping? Any advice would be gratefully received!
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It’s really interesting to read this. I stopped at around 10 months with the grem. We were just doing pm and night feeds but then the pm switched to a bottle and the night ones too. She just seemed to wean herself off but I guess I wanted that too. I can imagine it must be a tricky thought for you but I guess maybe work on stopping day feeds first and let any night one goes last. I hope you get some lacy bras for the daytime soon π xx #fartglitter
I did extended breastfeeding with some of mine (not naming names!) but actually they did wean themselves naturally – round about 17 months they got bored and either stopped demanding or realised that it wasn’t really terribly interesting stuff any more and spat me out. I was quite keen to stop by then too. Apple juice was a big help – in a world which contains apple juice, who wants breast milk?
I guess it really depends whether the toddler actually wants milk, or comfort, or an easy way to nod off to sleep. The first two are easy to deal with, but the going-to-sleep one is tricky. Big snuggly hugs with a soft toy but no boob? Good luck.
I had a really low milk supply. Once I started weaning both my girls and the reduced their feeds, my milk just dried up overnight. The decision was taken out of my hands X #MarvMondays
Ooh I found this really interesting as the longest I lasted was a few months with my first! I commend anyone who breastfeeds for any great length of time, I really struggled with it and in all honesty, I didn’t enjoy it at all. I found it very painful and didn’t have the support I needed to continue. Great post! #MarvMondays
I can’t even imagine breastfeeding a toddler as I sadly stopped when A was 3 months but I really hope to go on for as long as I can this time. Hopefully I get to experience all these things as I may have to return to work in which case they’ll no way I’ll be able to carry on after 10 months (no facilities to pump! π ). Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo
This made me chuckle but also realise weaning my LO, H, just before 12 months was a good idea. It was driven by nursery and she was only doing a morning feed by then. But she was beating my black’n’blue with her kicking and squirming. She was definitely doing the ‘chewing gum’ thing too.
You have both my respect and sympathy is equal measure.
Good luck when you do decide to wean – hope it goes well. Until then, sounds like you need to buy some protective clothing…
I am still breastfeeding my one year old, and many people have asked me when I am planning to stop which, actually, has nothing to do with any of them and irritates me beyond words. My daughter is weaning herself though, and I am actually really sad. I will miss it, I love it and I am aware that one of these days will be my last, ever feed.
I think my nipples just winced, which isn’t something I was aware they could do. Ooooh, the chewing gum one. Ouch.
#fartglitter
My mummy couldn’t imagine breastfeeding a toddler…ouchie! She weaned me off when she returned back to work and I went to nursery. She loved BF’ing and really misses it xx #TwinklyTuesday
I have to say my 4 younger kids that I was able to do extend feeding with did wean themselves at around 2 years. With the triplets I never felt ready to finish, I knew they would be my last but they had other ideas, probably wanting to copy their older siblings using cups. #TwinklyTuesday
It’s so important that new mums and mums to be read this and all the other things no one tells you about parenthood. Thanks for sharing – excellent post X #TwinklyTuesday
Great post!! no one tells you about these things. Only the nice frilly parts!
Lx
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
#TwinkleyTuesday
Sticking fingers in eyes etc – yes I remember that and sitting in some pretty grotty places out of the way too while people were having fun. But I really missed feeding myself when he stopped wanting me… #twinklytuesday
Really good post!
My little girl stopped at 1, but I was pregnant and the milk changed, apparently she didnt like it much!
My little guy is nearly 1, and is showing no signs of stopping!
Oh my gosh, the chewing gum boob. Worst pain, it makes me scream!
Sarah xx
whimsicalmumblings.co.uk
Chewing gum boob – oh yes I remember that well! My youngest was breastfed until just before her second birthday. I had moments when it felt like she’d be feeding forever until I took steps to wean but one day I offered her the breast and she said “no booby Mummy” and that was that. Have to confess I was quite upset about it as I never saw it coming and it just felt like those beautiful moments were suddenly snatched away. Took me a few days to get my head around it again. #TwinklyTuesday
A great post! It really made me giggle (sorry!) I am still feeding my 20-month old and dread the day it ends! The ‘chewing gum boob’ is absolutely brilliant I will think of that next time Ernie does it! Great post. Thank you for sharing. X #TwinklyTuesday
Great post! We breastfed up until 10 months and even then I can recognise some of the things on this list! I think extended breastfeeding is an amazing achievement, atlhough I would have no idea either about how to stop. It seems harder as they get older, but I guess its just about finding the right time?!.. Emily #TwinklyTuesday
Lol, yes to all of this! I only breast fed my oldest for 6 months before I dried up. So with my second child I wanted to breastfeed as long as possible. She just weaned herself (with a bit of help from me) at 3 years old. All of this applied!
Cygnet is 21 months and I still feed him before he goes to bed. Mummy milk is part of our bed time regime and we feed on the cuddling chair. Fortunately there are no distractions on the cuddling chair so no chewing gum boob but I do get prodded and if he sneezes he sometimes bites. I don’t know how and when I am going to wean him from this final feed. In a way I wish I had weaned him earlier. We are going to have a big battle because I have left it so late. Oh well. Pen xx #fartglitter
No help says she with the 13 month old chomping down as she types. I need to add a #11 – they bite because they think its hilarious. It’s not…..
haha! I’m not sure if I should be laughing or not, as I didn’t breastfeed my girls.. but I did think this was a rather funny take on it lol #effitfriday
There’s definitely pros and cons. I fed my first until 9 months and luckily she self weaned herself due to me going back to work and so she took a bottle well and we moved her onto a cup when she turned one. I must admit it easy nice to get normal bras on again!! I definitely remember the chewing gum boob and it would normally be in public where she was too busy being nosey so I’m just there with my boob hanging out! #effitfriday
I only managed to breast feed for nine months because the truth is I had a love/hate relationship with it. I hated when she would bob on and off and milk would spray everywhere and my boob would be exposed to everyone. I also hated it when she would try and twiddle my other nipples, or put her hand down my top. Basically I stopped because of all the points you mentioned. I just felt a hit touched out and wanted my body back. After nine months I was definately ready to stop.
#effitfridays
Yup, I did 18 months and 27 months of breastfeeding and all of these apply! I missed it when they weaned but was glad to be done, too, at the same time! #effitfriday
I didn’t succeed with feeding my eldest and my youngest fed until he was about 6 months and developed a biting habit…. luckily it coincided with him eating a lot of food and not really wanting to feed anymore. Whatever age you feed til is up to each individual person though and whatever works for you both, I hope if you do want to stop that the weaning off goes well lovely!
Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix
Stevie x
or erm #TenThings even π x