Am I a good enough mum? It’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot lately, especially as life gets back to ‘normal’ and the kids are back at school and nursery after all the various lockdowns.
Like many families we had some bad days, very bad days and totally awful days during lockdown and to say the experience was a learning curve is an understatement.
Having baby number four at the start of the pandemic and having no maternity leave to speak of owing to homeschooling and trying to keep everyone alive without killing each other has undoubtedly been the biggest test of motherhood so far (I still can’t log on to Seesaw without getting a nervous twitch!)
With the last remaining lockdown restrictions due to be lifted over the next few weeks I thought it would be fun (and cathartic!) to share some of the things I’ve learnt about parenting during that time.
5 things I learnt about parenting in a pandemic
1. We’ve all been in the same storm, but not the same boat
Although we’ve all been in the same storm, the meme doing the rounds on social media is so true: we’re not all in the same boat. Some of us are in yachts, some of us are in canoes and some of us are drowning – in my case in kids! We spent lockdown home schooling Bluebell and Max in a two-bedroom flat with no garden while entertaining a four-year-old and looking after a newborn. My fourth and final maternity leave was not only hijacked but well and truly ruined, and having survived that I think we can survive anything.
2. The more kids you’ve got the more plates you’ve got to spin
And, funnily enough, four kids is a lot of plates. Other than high days and holidays I never dreamed we’d all be at home at the same time for months on end without anyone being able to go anywhere or do anything else. Pre Covid the idea of schools and nurseries closing was inconceivable, and to say it was testing is an understatement!
3. Buying shop-bought baby food doesn’t make me a bad mum
Introducing Violet to solid food with ready made baby food pouches is something I’ve felt really guilty about. Unlike her brother and sisters, who were all introduced to solids with food made from scratch by me, I’ve never peeled or pureed anything for Violet. There was (and is) so much else going on that spending hours in the kitchen peeling and chopping and grating and slicing only for her to throw whatever it is I’ve lovingly created on the floor isn’t high up there on my list of priorities. But that doesn’t make me a bad mum – it just makes me one doing too many things and none of them well!
4. You adapt to survive
By doing things like buying shop-bought baby food instead of making it yourself. We cut so many corners during lockdown because the fact is there are only so many hours in the day and it’s not possible to do the job of five different people. Being a mum is hard enough without being expected to be a teacher, classroom assistant, playground monitor, cleaner and dinner lady as well!
5. We’re all just winging it
When I think back to the early days of the first lockdown the phrase ‘the blind leading the blind’ springs to mind. The truth is we were all winging it – the Government, teachers, employers, parents. All you can do is your best and if sometimes that isn’t good enough then so be it. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Is there anything particular you learnt about parenting during the pandemic? I’d love to know what it is!
I think that’s the thing, we all have different plates spinning. I really really struggled with my boy as he has autism & just couldn’t cope with the change in routine, his anxiety was through the roof & he badly regressed in all areas. It was seriously hard word & we didn’t get any schooling done as he just couldn’t cope with it at all. Instead we watched lot’s of educational documentaries & Youtube videos etc so at least he got some learning done & it was learning that suited him rather than making him (& me) even more stressed out. Whilst everyone else was worrying about sending their kids back to school & wanting to keep them home I’m not ashamed to admit I couldn’t wait for him to go back. Not only for me, but for him too. I’m also disabled & can be bedbound for months at a time due to my spinal condition so I’m praying that there’s never another lockdown, I don’t know how we’d get through it again
Gosh you have A LOT on your plate – like you I couldn’t wait for school & nursery to reopen again either & pray we don’t have to go through it all again…what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger & all that!
I definitely agree that we’ve all been very much winging it over the last year or so and that while we are all in the same storm, we are in different boats. Like you, we’ve been cutting corners when needed and just doing what we needed to do to get through it all, especially during that intense home-schooling phase. #fortheloveofblog
Intense is certainly the right word for it!
It certainly is! Hopefully we won’t have a repeat of that again! Popping back from #mischiefandmemories
I think the best advice in this is ‘You adapt to survive’. There is no rule book to follow, and it impacts each kid and family differently, so you try things out,adapt routines, cut corners (so you don’t burn out). It’s all good. May not be perfect but will get you there in the end….and THAT’S what counts! Good post #FortheloveofBLOG
All we can do is our best – even though I know sometimes that wasn’t good enough. And I totally agree the whole experience impacted us all differently…
This is all so true! I definitely agree with the same storm, different boat analogy. I think many of us have also learnt how resilient we can be when we need to be. #fortheloveofblog
You just do what you have to do, don’t you!
It’s been a lot hasn’t it. One day we will look back and laugh. Although I think we need a bit longer to get over it first! I love the picture of the three kids feeding Violet. #fortheloveofblog
If we didn’t laugh we’d cry! Yes it was handy having the others to help with weaning!
So true we are all definitely just winging it. I have to say I was super thankful to only have one child. I can only imagine how hardcore it must have been for you! x #ForTheLoveOfBlog
It really was crazy when I look back on it – definitely don’t want to be doing that again!
You think you will never survive until your in the situation and it is amazing how you can adapt. I certainly don’t have that anxiety I used to get over 6 week holiday which is a blessing x #fortheloveofblog
That’s very true – the 6 week summer holiday will seem like a breeze now!
I absolutely love this post – totally agree with everything you’ve written! I have been in lockdown with a baby and a toddler, and I honestly found it so hard. “You adapt to survive” particularly resonates with me – I had to! #fortheloveofblog
The main thing is we survived – even if in some cases it was only just!
I completely agree with everything you’ve written. I definitely have been winging it. What I’ve learnt that it is okay to let the telly babysit whenever need be to get through the day. I’m still working 9 to 5 from home, expected to give it my all but at the same time take care of my daughter too. It’s not been easy! I had to give up on homeschooling when nursery shut because I just couldn’t handle everything, my daughter would rather have a relaxed mum rather than whose stressed and snappy all the time.
#MischiefandMemories
Totally agree with all of this! I think everyone is winging it, even the ones who seem to have their shiz together! Well that’s what I tell myself anyway haha! #fortheloveofblog
*Nods along to EVERYTHING. I think you’ve hit the nail on it’s head with this post. I completely agree. We definitely have been in the same storm, but in lots of different boats! I take my hat off to you and your beautiful family for managing. We’ve only got one, and I remember how hard it got!!! #wingingit #mischiefandmemories xxx
I only have one child, a 3 year old and I struggled with the amount of plates spinning during lockdown so you are an absolute superstar!
Katrina x
#MischiefandMemories
Parenting has been so different as many parents have had to juggle work with home learning. I have no idea how you have managed with a newborn as well! Thanks for linking up with MischiefAndMemories