THAT family.
You know the ones I mean. The ones you can hear coming before you can see them. The ones who cause some sort of disturbance as soon as they enter a room. The ones you swore you’d never become.
Well we’ve turned into THAT family.
To be honest the warnings signs have been there for months, but it was only when we went out to a restaurant to celebrate Little B’s third birthday that the true horror really hit home.
The fact we’re now outnumbered since the arrival of baby number three probably has a lot to do with it: if all three kids kick off at the same time the chances are there’s going to be one you have to leave to it while you’re sorting the other two out.
Even so we managed to cause such a commotion on our latest outing that the appeal of going out for a meal you don’t have to cook or clear up after isn’t as attractive as it once was. Here’s why.
8 tell-tale signs you’re turning into THAT family
1. Diners on the tables nearest to you pay up and leave within 10 minutes of you sitting down. It’s possible they had actually finished their meals and were about to leave anyway, but the chances are they want to get as far away from you as possible as fast as possible.
2. You require a table with plenty of extra space. And if there isn’t one they have to rearrange the furniture. Not only have you brought the pushchair and the car seat with you in case they fall asleep (ha – good luck with that one!) there’s the high chair that has to be at least a foot away from the edge of the table so the baby is out of swiping distance.
3. You open your mouth and your mum falls out. You find yourself saying things like ‘turn the volume down’ and ‘other people are here to have a quiet meal and don’t want to hear your voice’.
4. There’ll be some sort of spillage. And I don’t mean a little splash – I mean the sort of spillage that requires reams and reams of the kitchen’s catering-size blue roll. It was BB filling Misery Guts’s glass with water from a jug that ticked this box on our latest outing. She kept on pouring, sending water cascading all over the tiled floor, which happened to be the waiters’ route from the kitchen to diners.
5. The kids take it upon themselves to display feral behaviour you’ve honestly never seen before. Discovering the older two were chasing a discarded dough ball around the restaurant floor had to be the low point of the evening.
6. The kids will say something they shouldn’t. VERY loudly. Like ‘Daddy are you sure you can drive us home when you’ve had two glasses of beer?’
7. Despite using almost a whole pack of baby wipes to clear up discarded food, despite putting all the crayons back in their pot and despite helping to stack the plates, your table still looks like a bomb’s hit it.
8. You leave an overly generous tip. Not because the service was anything special, but in recognition of the trail of destruction you’ve left in your wake and the general inconvenience caused to all.
Have you been out for a meal with the kids in tow recently? Does any of this sound familiar? I’d love to hear whether you’re in danger of turning into THAT family too!
Linking up with these fabulous blogs!
I don’t have any kids but I’m the adult who comes over to say hi to your kids and then give you a thumbs up for surviving the raising of children. Honestly, I’m hoping someone like me can make up for the jackasses who send you nasty looks. Ignore any and all of those people, kids are very skilled at making the best parents look ridiculous.
#BloggersBest
Ha, this made me laugh. We only have 1 child so things, on the whole, are relatively calm. My son is usually impeccably behaved when we’re out in public. I can’t say this is the case when we’re at home mind you. Great post. #bloggersbest
haha Little piglet has hit lunatic phase so we eat out a little less now too. We are debating a third..hmmmm bad idea??? Thanks for linking with #bloggersbest xx
Oh yes this is basically our family ha!! Every. Single. Time. Great post, thanks for the giggle and linking up to #BloggersBests
oh god this makes me cringe we are definitely “that” family twins and three boys under seven we should come with a warning when we go out lol love this post #bloggerbest
Hi Natalie, there was a time when we felt like ‘that’ family. That whirlwind of a family that leaves a trail of destruction behind them. Now I can sit back and smile knowingly at families with young children. The good news is that the phase passes but your reputation will remain in tatters for a long time afterwards!
#ablogginggoodtime
Oh no! We’re that family too! I think it’s being a family of five that does it. I chortled when you said about the furniture being moved around. Always. Every time. It does get easier as they get older, but they can revert and you end up putting your hand over their mouths to stop them finishing their sentence quite so loudly. Eating out. Over rated. Honestly. #ablogginggoodtime
Omg yes to this, I hate eating out so bloody stressful X #bloggersbest
Omg yes to this, I hate eating out so bloody stressful X #bloggersbest
This. Is. Us! And there’s only 2 kids! But you might as well have been writing about my family lol
This made hilarious reading!
I can remember finding it tough when we got to 3 children. I used to avoid taking them all out together as felt I could not cope and was at the time suffering with post-natal depression which did not help. I think it would be less stressful if more restaurants genuinely wanted children as customers and catered for them better
Ha ha! Loved this! So true!! #thelistlinky
Hilarious, because it’s true! Even when I’m just out with our oldest the table looks like a war-zone. #thelistlinky
Katelynn, hampersandhiccups.com
Yep! We are THAT family. The thing is we only go to family friendly places with our kids so I’m like “if you don’t like it, go to a cocktail bar where there’s no kids” #thelist
Ha ha, weβre definitely THAT family. When it was just my son eating our was a dream. He was always polite, well behaved, tidy and all the other diners loved him and would strike up conversations with him. Then my daughter came along. She is like a Tasmanian devil who leaves destruction everywhere she goes and only has two volumes; loud and ear-splitting. And my son seems to think he has to be just as loud in order to complete. Eating out has definitely lost its appeal these days
#TheListLinky
I TOTALLY do the tip thing….that makes it alright, right????? #TwinklyTuesday
Hee, hee so true made me smile #TwinklyTuesday
Brilliant, love this! #TwinklyTuesday
ha ha this made me laugh! I think we’re half way there for sure #TheListLinky
I think we are headed that way…some we have already achieved! #ablogginggoodtime
Love this! We have definitely had some moments like this! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Oh yes! When you are the parent of a full time wheelchair user your family already stands out. My son has no filter of when to not say things (he has autism) so will often loudly express his dislike of the smell or look of the place or just announce that he doesn’t like someone (usually due to them wearing a T-shirt with something he dislikes on it). Yes, we are “that family”. And we are awesome! #KCACOLS
haha, yes, add to that the tantrum and the argument with Cygnet because he just won’t eat his food, and then you’ve described us. Pen x #KCACOLS
I love the line about opening your mouth and your mum falls out, had me laughing out loud which feels good:) Also over tipping is so funny and sometimes so necessary too! Love it! Thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS hope you come back next time.
Mainy x
Haha! I have to say I don’t always look forward to eating out for all the above reasons. I often feel like ‘that family’ x
#kcacols
Oh no! We are them too! That family! We have every symptom! Oy vey! #kcacols xoxo
I have a 19 year old that like to burp as loud as he can so others stare at you! Kids and dinners out just don’t mix lol.
#KCACOLS
Ha ha! Great list! Love the term ‘swiping distance’! My daughter has PMLD and her swiping distance is enormous now so we have to move all cutlery and glassware right to the opposite end of the table! π #KCACOLS
Lol. This did make me laugh. Someone’s got to be “that family” right! lol. Just kidding. I’d never judge, at least not out loud anyways lol
Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS
I grew up as that family so I’m ever alert for the signs!! Pur friends have never taken their kids out for dinner or even a cafe because they don’t know how to behave. And will never learn apparently. #kcacols
This made me giggle! Brilliant! We are that family – haha! We also have three kids too. My eldest isn’t so loud but the other two as awfully loud haha! Going out for food can be such a handful at times. #KCACOLS
[…] 8 tell-tale signs you’re turning into THAT family […]
Currently in a restaurant surrounded by carnage caused by my four and am ignoring it by reading this – ha ha!!