If there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write this has to be it: how can I stop my toddler from touching my boobies? (And yes, if I could insert the monkey hiding behind their hands emoji here I would!)

And I say toddler, but she’s nearly three.

How can I stop my toddler

It might sound like a tongue-in-cheek dilemma but it’s actually a serious question: how do you stop a boobie obsessed baby (or in this case toddler) from rummaging around in places you’d rather they wouldn’t?

How can I stop my toddler from touching my boobies?

Having breastfed three babies I realise the instinct is completely normal – a breastfed baby will naturally massage the breast they’re not feeding from in order to encourage milk production – but when that baby is no longer a baby, and what’s more they’ve been weaned, there comes a point it’s got to stop.

The question is, how? I can’t be the only one with a boobie obsessed toddler – can I?

View this post on Instagram

So this week I’ve mostly been wearing a 2-year-old with one hand planted firmly down my top It’s been 4 weeks since we stopped breastfeeding & I won’t lie, it’s been the toughest 4 weeks of her entire life so far: there have been meltdowns (hers & mine ), neighbours banging on the door in the middle of the night to complain about the crying (hers not mine ) & I’ve been close to caving in on more than one occasion. We seem to be out the other end though – even if it does mean being groped all day & night ‍♀️ With that in mind breastfeeding at two – what happened next is over on the blog now – link in bio! #whatiworewednesday #breastfeeding #breastfeedingmama #MedelaMums

A post shared by Crummy Mummy (@confessionsofacrummymummy) on

With my patience waning I did what any right minded parent would do first: I Dr Googled it. Interestingly, all manner of conundrums come up, from the inevitable hitting and biting to the more bizarre knee walking (such a term does indeed exist!) But alas, there’s no sign of boobie touching.

How can I stop my toddler

Undeterred – because everything is on Google, right? – I delved a bit further and discovered there is, in fact, a bit of advice. Although none of it is very helpful. Pearls of wisdom include ‘position yourself so that your breasts are out of reach’ and ‘hold firm about physically preventing him from touching your breast. Getting him to stop is that easy’.

How can I stop my toddler

I’m sorry, but where exactly am I supposed to position myself so that my breasts are out of reach? Hide them behind my ears? And if getting her to stop was that easy, I’d have done it months ago.

How can I stop my toddler

Of course I probably only have myself to blame: having breastfed her until the recommended two-years-old the instinct is a well-established one, and old habits die hard. But even so, what now? With baby number four due in a few months time is running out to cure the boobie touching before it starts all over again.

So, if anyone has any useful pearls of wisdom or advice, I’d love to hear it!

If you liked this you may also enjoy reading:

Breastfeeding at two – what happened next

10 things I learnt breastfeeding three babies

Why shopping vouchers for breastfeeding makes me SO mad!