They say babies come when they’re ready, which is all very well but not very helpful when your due date has come and gone and there’s still no sign of your new arrival making an appearance.
At the time of writing I’m 40 weeks + 5 days past my due date – a figure which comes as no surprise to me, but has resulted in all sorts of comments from well meaning friends and acquaintances.
Having been overdue four times now it never ceases to amaze me some of the ‘helpful’ things people come out with, and as my due date recedes further and further into the past it’s fair to say my fuse is getting shorter and shorter!
So, in case you’re in any doubt (and I strongly advise erring on the side of caution) here’s what NOT to say to an overdue pregnant mama – if you value your friendship that is!
What NOT to say to an overdue pregnant mama!
“You’re huge!”
Thanks very much. Remind me to make a personal comment about your appearance next time I see you.
“Have you tried..?” [insert old wives tale here]
Unless there’s a particular reason why you don’t want your baby to make an appearance just yet, the chances are an overdue mama will have tried pretty much everything to get things going.
“Have you had the baby yet?”
Yes I have, I just forgot to tell you. Said no new mum ever.
“Are you in labour yet?”
None of your business!
“Whatever happens, you don’t want to be induced”
Not helpful. Especially when induction of labour may be the only option and you know full well the clock is ticking. A scenario currently compounded by the fact UK coronavirus lockdown means birth partners can’t be there to support you until you’re actually in active labour, meaning you’re going in alone.
“My friend had a sweep and…” [insert horror story here]
Again, not helpful!
“That baby must be getting huge, poor you!”
I’m well aware of how big my baby is thank you very much – I’ve been growing it for the last nine months! And contrary to popular belief, bigger babies can actually be easier to deliver owing to the weight of their head on your cervix, so there.
Have you been overdue before and can you relate to any of the above? I love to hear what annoyed you the most!
I was overdue with both of my boys so can definitely relate to all of the above.
Sending lots of love and will be thinking of you. x
Reading this almost a year on – must have missed your comment as Violet finally arrived two days later on April 20!
I can relate to all these, I’m currently 40+4, my other two were born at 41 weeks, but I have a horrible feeling this one will need induced – which I really don’t want as I’m planning a HB. It’s so stressful having induction hovering over your head and I’m sure it delays progress due to worrying constantly. It also doesn’t help we’re in lockdown and home schooling so getting no time to relax. Plus it’s been icy for weeks so been unable to get out for a walk – feels like everything is stacking up against me at the moment! Please please please baby come out before 42 weeks!!
I’ve got all my fingers & toes crossed for you! I was 9 days overdue with baby number four in the first lockdown & I’m sure it was because the other kids were off school & nursery & at home & my maternity leave had been blown out of the water…really hope you get your home birth, sending positive vibes!
Thank You, he arrived on 6th Feb at 41 weeks – just like his sisters! I also had a home birth despite the treacherous snow!
If only they’d make 41 weeks full term – it would save a lot of unnecessary stress!
Thanks for your article, it really helped with being overdue!
Oh wow HUGE congratulations! So pleased you got your home birth too! In Japan & many Asian countries 40 weeks + 10 days is considered full term which makes total sense to me! Enjoy those newborn snuggles – the thought makes me broody but don’t tell anyone!!