‘One more week of freedom’ and ‘another few weeks before all hell breaks loose’. Those are the words of two of my friends who are expecting their second babies this month.
The thing about second babies is that you know what’s coming, unlike the first time round when ignorance is bliss.
That said, BB was three by the time Little B finally came along and I’d totally forgotten what it was like to have a newborn again. The first six months with both of them are a bit of a blur (and not because I drank too much wine).
On reflection there are a number of things I could and should have done to make things easier, so I’ve compiled a little list on how to survive the first six months of motherhood for my expectant friends (and surprisingly it doesn’t involve wine!)
1. Accept help. I was so intent on proving I could do it all in the early days that I didn’t accept help when it was offered, to Misery Guts’s exasperation. But then the grandparents go home, your other half goes back to work and you’re on your own, and then you really won’t get any help. So make the most of it.
2. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I know, I know, this is easier said than done, especially if you already have older siblings at home. Looking back I wish I’d climbed into bed, even for 20 minutes, when Little B was napping and BB was at nursery.
3. Don’t play the hostess. I know everyone’s visiting your house to meet the new baby, but remember you’re the one who’s just produced a human being and probably hasn’t slept for more than a few hours since. This is probably the only time you can legitimately sit on the sofa and issue commands, so make the most of it!
4. Make time for you. This is a hard one, but it is possible with a little pre-planning. I couldn’t wait to get back to running and swimming, which needed military-style planning between feeds when Misery Guts was home from work. If reading is your thing, try and factor in a 30-minute window when you can go into your bedroom, shut the door on everyone else and have half an hour with your book. Or do the same with a bath. Or if you used to enjoy going out to bingo with your friends, try out an online site like GameVillage bingo instead.
5. Fresh air. As well as being good exercise, there’s a lot to be said for blowing away the cobwebs with a good walk. It always seemed to stop mine crying, and probably stopped me from crying too!
6. Cake. My residing memory of maternity leave is coffee shops and cake. This is literally what got me through the day, and I shudder to think how many cups of tea and pieces of cake I got through while putting the world to rights with other knackered mothers.
So that’s the advice I’d give to my expectant friends. Is there anything you’d add? How did you survive the first six months of parenthood?
This post was written in collaboration with GameVillage Bingo.
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Great post for me as my 2nd is just 3 months old. Definitely agree with all these. I have been a lot more accepting of help this time around and it has made things easier. The going for a walk is a good one, so simple but so effective. #bestandworst:)
I’d go mad without my daily walk – you can find us outside whatever the weather!
Fabulous list! Taking time for myself and asking for help were both vital for surviving the first 6 months, though I must admit doing both was harder than I imagined it would be.
I’m not very good at asking for help either…I guess it’s just one of those things!!
I need this list hun as all the fun is going to re-start in for us in September too! I am so going to accept help and will be resting on the days my daughter is at nursery. I think the first 6 months are really going to be fun!!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx
I bet you’ll have a ball – I’m slightly jealous!!
I need this list right now! Accepting help was the hardest thing for me last time so I’m hoping to be better at it this time round. A couple of friends have taken on the challenge of filling up my freezer with home cooked food for when the baby arrives – VERY excited about this! #bestandworst
You have great friends! I always meant to fill my own freezer second time around but never did and we survived on take aways!
Fab list and all very true excellent post #bestandworst
Glad you liked it!
Never mind fist 6 months!! We are 3 years on and I still have no idea what I’m doing!!
L X
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
#ablogginggoodtime
I have to say I know what you mean!!
great tips and it is funny how everyone says sleep when baby sleeps, and we don’t and then we wish we had!! id def do that more if we had a second 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime
It’s easy to say but so hard to actually sleep when the baby sleeps!
Great tips, and not just for those expecting their second child either! I definitely think there is something to be said for making Mummy friends too…it always helps when someone says ‘I feel like that too!’ X
Yes that’s very true…
Great tips – i have made several fatal mistakes including not sleeping when the baby sleeps – we live and learn dont we?
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
Sometimes though sleeping in the day makes me feel worse than if I hadn’t slept at all…
def true. One more me: be positive and patient. When baby cries, it’s not against you, he/she is just a baby!!!! #KCACOLS
Oh yes, patience. I should have mentioned that one!
Great advice! We plan on having another when Mini R is about 3 and I fully believe I will remember nothing about having a newborn! #KCACOLS
BB was just over three when Little B was born and I’d totally forgotten what it was like having a newborn again…
Oh what a helpful friend you are – you’re so right about the accepting help and the sleep when baby sleeps – only something a mummy who has been through it can vouch for! Oh and the cake – there has to be cake! #KCACOLS
Everyone seems to be with me on the cake one!
Great tips. I will keep all these in mind when baby arrives in October. I definitely agree it’s important to try and sleep when baby sleeps and to accept help. I have no idea how I’m going to cope with 2 kids so I will be taking all the help I can get! Haha, cake definitely got me through those early months too, lots and lots of cake xx #kcacols
I wish I’d slept more when Little B was newborn and BB was at nursery. The trouble is you’re filled with that babymoon adrenaline and you think you’re invincible!
I never went down the second child road but I know how manic it can be from my sisters! I reckon these are brilliant tips especially the help and cake. Cake always helps with everything! #kcacols
Tea and cake can sort out pretty much anything I think!!
Absolutely spot on list. And I have to admit, cake was an essential for me!! xx #KCACOLS
The thing is cake is still an essential for me!!
Great List – cake is always a winner with me! #KCACOLS
Cake is definitely what got me through the first year first time round!x
A great list. You’re so right about accept help and sleep. neither of which I did. The other thing I’d add is don’t beat yourself up with guilt over your choices #KCACOLS
I didn’t sleep or accept help either. And you’re right about the guilt!!
A great list and I totally agree. Accepting help and especially the taking a break for yourself! #KCACOLS
All easier said than done of course!!
Sleep and time for yourself is vital! #KCACOLS
And more sleep. And a bit more. And a bit more!!
This makes me nervous about having a second! SB is two right now and number two is not on the horizon yet – I think by the time I do get pregnant, I’ll have forgotten all about the newborn days and it’ll hit me like a brick wall again! Haha great post #KCACOLS
That’s what happened to me – it did hit me like a brick wall with Little B. But I don’t want to put you off!!
Great list! The only thing I would add is to make time for your partner too. A new baby puts a lot of pressure on your relationship and you need to make sure that you still spend quality time together when the children are asleep.
YES! I should have added this in! It’s so easy to totally forget about each other x
Great list full of helpful tips. I have to agree me time is a definite must if you are lucky enough to get any. The only thing I can think of to add is to enjoy and make the most of the newborn days as the pass by in a flash. I know this is easier said than done too.xx #KCACOLS
That’s so true – the newborn days go by in the blink of an eye!!
Great tips! Motherhood can be so challenging especially at the beginning and we are often so hard on ourselves. For me, getting help was so important. My son’s delivery was very difficult so I needed to remember to take time for myself to rest so that I could be there for him. #kcacols
Yes – recovering after the birth is so important. I think people forget what the mum has just been through sometimes…
Nodding along. Yes – accepting help. The time when we most need it. I have to say I was rubbish at this and I played the hostess. I learnt the hard way and would definitely have done things differently second time around if I had the opportunity. I made sure I ate a years supply of cake though! This is great advice for anyone. Thanks for sharing with #KCACOLS. We love having you here and hope you can come back next Sunday. Nickyx
Thanks very much! I played hostess too – it was a bad move as no-one would have minded making me a cup of tea I’m sure!
Love this, some really great tips. Definitely accept help, it isn’t always easy but it makes for happier mums and babies!
#KCACOLS
And we all know a happy mum equals a happy baby!
With my first I was a lot more intense and thought I had to join loads of groups. My second came along, 4 years later so had blurred most of it out, and I spent the whole time binge watching The Good Wife on Netflix ! Happy times. #kcacols
Sounds like you had it down to a ‘t’!
Cake is definitely a good survival tips for most situations but this is a good advice I’ll take note of when my baby is born. #kcacols
Make sure you have cake in the cupboard at all times!!
I’d agree with all of these (although I never managed to sleep when baby slept) am about to have my second and will Defo be trying to eat more cake and make more me-time this time around, and worry less about baby classes and the like! Xx #KCACOLS
I haven’t done any baby classes second time round and feel really guilty about it!!
lol cake solves everything. great tips 🙂 #KCACOLS
And a nice cup of tea – or glass of wine!!
I am glad cake featured in here somewhere. That would be my go-to-tip.
And wine, obv.
#KCACOLS
The wine goes without saying, right? Vats of the stuff!!
If I could go back and do it again I’d certainly sleep when baby sleeps this time! Great list.
Me too, me too…
Ps. #kcacols!
Thanks for popping by!