Did you that know half of women who breastfeed their babies say they feel like they let their baby down when they struggled to get the hang of it?
And that just under half of new mums think breastfeeding is one of the toughest parts of motherhood?
Those are the findings of a new BBC survey into how women are feeding their babies and how it makes them feel, and I have to say I’m not surprised.
I’ve breastfed all three of mine and have been feeding baby number three for almost two years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in that time it’s that there’s so much they just don’t tell you.
I’m sure the level of support and information you get depends on where you are in the country and the services that are available, but even so there are things I wish I’d known before I started breastfeeding that would have taken the pressure off and made things a little easier.
I’m not the only one who feels that way, either. BBC Radio 4 is discussing the results of the survey on Woman’s Hour every day this week (if you’re interested you can catch up here) and talking to mums about their experiences, and the over-riding thing to come out of it is that there just isn’t enough support available. Which got me thinking about what they don’t tell you and what I wish I’d known.
10 things the experts don’t tell you about breastfeeding
1. Everyone is different. What comes naturally to some new mums doesn’t come naturally to others. And that’s perfectly natural.
2. Every baby is different. Some know exactly what to do straight away, some don’t, and others are somewhere in between.
3. If you get off to a tricky start it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Establishing breastfeeding can be affected by all sorts of things, from the kind of labour and delivery you had to a baby born with tongue tie.
4. If you can’t exclusively breastfeed at the beginning, it doesn’t mean you can’t in the end. You’re both learning something new so it can take a while to get the hang of it.
On @bbcradio4 now: In our survey with @BBCSheffield, half of women aged 18-40 who breastfed their babies say they felt like they let their baby down when they struggled to breastfeed. We discuss the research 👶: https://t.co/N9ltahDnsb 📻 pic.twitter.com/r3SJj4bdh9
— BBC Woman’s Hour (@BBCWomansHour) January 29, 2019
5. Just because breastfeeding came easily last time doesn’t mean it will come easily next time. I found that out the hard way, when number two was born with tongue tie and couldn’t latch properly.
6. Just because breastfeeding didn’t come easily last time doesn’t mean it won’t come easily next time. That’s what I discovered after the birth of number three, who took to it like a duck to water.
7. There’s advice and support in the strangest of places. If there’s one piece of advice I’d give a newly breastfeeding mama it’s join a Facebook group. You don’t even need to actively use Facebook, you just need a Facebook account so you can request to join a closed group. I’m a member of Can I Breastfeed In It? which as the name suggests was set up so breastfeeding mums can share advice and tips on clothes and bras but has developed into so much more than that. It’s a safe place to share how you’re feeling and seek advice from other mums in the same boat as you.
8. You know best. You might not have been a mum before and you might not have breastfed before but only you know what’s best for you and your baby.
9. The phrase ‘breast is best’ is not helpful. Fed is best.
10. It won’t always be like this. It won’t always be breast pads and leaky boobs and two hourly feeds. It does get better, a lot better.
I do wish I’d known tongue ties were a thing. I was told straight after the birth that my little boy had one and had no idea if it was a significant problem or not. It definitely made breadt feeding more difficult initially but it impdrastically as soon as it was snipped, and he didn’t even cry. #itsok
This is so true. I struggled to breastfeed my eldest daughter as she was born prematurely. I really wanted to breastfeed her and even when for lactation consults but she just didn’t want to latch. My milk started drying up so we just continued with formula. With the second one, she latched from the start and breastfeeding went well. But she wanted to be fed on demand – I tried to put her in a 3 hourly routine but it seemed as if she wasn’t getting enough. So after 4 months of breastfeeding; I could no longer endure the exhaustion of demand feeding. So we switched to formula and it worked well #itsok
These are all great tips – especially about the fact we as mothers know what’s best for our babies. I breastfed my first for three months and it was an utter disaster, despite all the help in the world which I was grateful for, he wasn’t latching properly and I was basically starving him. It took a GP to tell me to stop for me to realise, and of course I then felt a massive failure – for not being able to do it, and then for not actually stopping sooner but carrying on because I felt I SHOULD. What I do think is a shame is that there some women (only some!) who breastfeed who make you feel like you’re rubbish if you don’t. I wrote a post about this and got slagged off massively – so proof not everyone is so kind! If you can do it great, if you can’t, then it’s not the end of the world. A mum’s mental health and the baby’s health is way more important, however they are fed. And like the meme says – you’ll still smack their head on the car whether they’re breastfed or not! 🙂 Thanks for linking up, lovely! And well done for being on This Morning – that’s flippin awesome! #ItsOK
These are all great tips – especially about the fact we as mothers know what’s best for our babies. I breastfed my first for three months and it was an utter disaster, despite all the help in the world which I was grateful for, he wasn’t latching properly and I was basically starving him. It took a GP to tell me to stop for me to realise, and of course I then felt a massive failure – for not being able to do it, and then for not actually stopping sooner but carrying on because I felt I SHOULD. What I do think is a shame is that there some women (only some!) who breastfeed who make you feel like you’re rubbish if you don’t. I wrote a post about this and got slagged off massively – so proof not everyone is so kind! If you can do it great, if you can’t, then it’s not the end of the world. A mum’s mental health and the baby’s health is way more important, however they are fed. And like the meme says – you’ll still smack their head on the car whether they’re breastfed or not! 🙂 Thanks for linking up, lovely! And well done for being on This Morning – that’s flippin awesome! #ItsOK
All new mums need to read this! I had twins and was determined to breast feed. Both babies had different ideas. I persevered but neither got the hang of it so I expressed for two weeks. I felt like Daisy the Cow, hooked up to the milking machine lol. Then, one morning, I woke up to them both crying and hungry and realised, with horror, that I’d forgotten to express in preparation for the early morning feed. Thank god for the emergency tub of formula in the cupboard. This was the end of my breast feeding endeavours. But, you know what? #itsok
FAB post! It’s so important for mums-to-be to know that breastfeeding does NOT always come naturally, is often painful and can lead to more tears than joy. As you said, fed is best and as a mum, YOU will know what to do. Thanks for sharing this with us at #itsok
Such good advice. I breastfed both of mine for around 6 months each, but I did top up with formula. I used to feel guilty about that, but after a while I knew that I was doing what was best for both me and my babies. And one thing I can’t emphasise enough about the early months, is that mommy is allowed to be happy too. You don’t always have to be a martyr to achieve what the books tell you you should. Happy mommy, happy baby. Trust your instincts. Thanks for linking up to the #ItsOK Linky. Hope to see you back next week.