There’s a milestone birthday in our house. And it’s not mine (not yet, anyway).

Misery Guts is 40, which seems wrong on so many levels. Apart from the fact I don’t feel old enough to have a 40-year-old husband, he doesn’t seem old enough to be a 40-year-old husband.

40th birthday

Anyway, to mark the occasion, here’s 40 wishes for my husband on his 40th birthday.

This one’s for you, Misery Guts.

40 wishes for my husband on his 40th birthday

1. I wish money wasn’t an option and we could have jetted somewhere exotic to celebrate. But I think you’ll like what I’ve got planned better.

2. I wish you’d stop worrying about being half way through your life. You might be, but you might not be.

3. I wish the midlife crisis snapping at your heels hadn’t prompted you to grow a beard. It’s patchy and looks like mange. (I have told him this by the way – I’m not that cruel).

4. I wish you’d stop trimming your beard with my nail scissors and leaving bits of it in the sink. It’s disgusting.

5. I wish people didn’t think I’m mean calling you Misery Guts. If they knew what I know there’d be no question.

6. I wish you’d never been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

7. I wish they’d find a cure for type 1 diabetes.

8. In the meantime I wish the insulin pump you’ve been promised for the last two years comes sooner rather than later.

9. I wish you weren’t planning to run 150 miles across the Sahara desert in the name of type 1 diabetes. But I understand why you are.

10. I wish we could be there to cheer you on every step of the way, but it might be a bit hard what with you being in the middle of the Sahara desert.

11. I wish you’d stop pulling your nose hairs to make yourself sneeze. It’s so annoying.

12. Ditto using the end of your glasses to itch inside your ears – except that’s so disgusting as well as so annoying.

13. I wish we’d gone with your choice of music for the first dance at our wedding and not mine. You were right and I was wrong.

14. I wish we’d remembered to kiss at the altar when everyone clapped instead of staring at each other gormlessly.

15. I wish you hadn’t lost your first wedding ring in the sea.

40th birthday

16. I wish you’d finally stop leaving trainers all over the place and learn to put them away.

17. And while we’re on the subject, I wish you’d stop dangling wet running gear all over the house.

18. I wish you’d tell the kids the truth and that it wasn’t a shark that bit off your finger. I’m worried they’ll develop an unwarranted fear of sharks.

19. And I wish you hadn’t told the kids Donald Trump is an idiot (even if he is). Last week BB told an entire bus.

20. I wish we could go on more spa breaks.

Apologies for the spa break spam but did I mention we’re #childfree? #woohoo #yippee #relax

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21. I wish you’d come and see Take That with me. I promise you’d enjoy it.

22. I wish you wouldn’t insist on playing rocket car right before bed. It winds them up something rotten.

23. I wish we’d cuddle more often.

24. I wish I had the patience and enthusiasm with school homework that you do. It’s a good job one of us does.

25. I wish you wouldn’t shout at BT every time we have cause to phone them.


26. I wish the crocodile head I bought you for Christmas hadn’t fallen off the wall. I’m still finding teeth in odd places.

27. I wish you’d stop using my face masks.

28. I wish they’d do another series of Detectorists. It’s the only programme we both agree on.

29.Β I wish one day we can ride the Orient Express from London to Venice like we always say we will.

30. I wish we hadn’t lost two babies. But I’m mightily grateful for the three that we have.

40th birthday

31. I wish we’d taken Little B to meet your Granddad before he died.

32. I wish you’d hurry up and write your Granddad’s story – it’s a book just waiting to be published.

33. I wish you knew how talented a writer you are.

34. I wish you didn’t worry so much.

35. I wish we could have just one more baby (just slipping that one in there).

36. I wish for you to look back on your 40th birthday with a smile.

37. I wish for you to think back to your 40th in years to come and think actually you were quite young.

38. I wish you knew how much we love you.

39. I wish you were 21 and I was 19 and we could do it all over again.

40. I wish you a very happy 40th birthday.

Owing to the fact we’re away celebrating Misery Guts’s 40th (if you head over to my Instagram feed you’ll see what we’re up to – it’s good!) this is my last post this week, but I’ll be back next week as usual.

Have you had any milestone birthdays in your house recently? How did you celebrate? I’d love to know!

If you enjoyed this you may also enjoy reading:

Type 1 diabetes and us

A letter to first time mum me

10 reasons baby number three is the best

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