What do you wish you’d known as a first time mum?
As a third time mum it often makes me laugh when I think back to being a first time mum and all the things I know now that I didn’t know then.
I would have worried a lot less and relaxed a lot more, both things I’ve finally managed to do third time around – one of the reasons I think baby number three is the best.
Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing, so when BritMums invited me to take part in their #VicksBabyRub challenge by writing a letter to my first time mum self about what I wish I’d known I simply couldn’t resist.
A letter to first time mum me
Dear first time mum me,
1. No two labours are the same. Just because you had a tough time the first time doesn’t mean you will again.
2. There are really only 10 things you need in your hospital bag. Don’t pack everything but the kitchen sink, and there’s absolutely no point in taking a hair dryer and hair straighteners.
3. No two breastfed babies are the same. Just because breastfeeding came easily last time doesn’t mean it will next time, but that doesn’t make you a bad mum.
4. Ask for help. You’ve got nothing to prove and asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mum either.
5. Baby grows have split shoulders so you can take them off by pulling them down instead of up. And there’s a big difference between whether you pull them down or up when a poonami hits. Why don’t they tell you this on the packaging?
6. People will try and sell you things you don’t need. Like teeny tiny nail clippers you’re terrified to use for fear of cutting their fingers off. Don’t be fooled!
7. There are things you think you don’t need that turn out to be priceless. Like Vicks BabyRub. It contains aloe vera, rosemary and lavender and can be used at any time of day from helping to relax them when teething to winding down before bedtime. Think all-round rescue balm – and great for bonding too.
8. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your baby to sleep. If it works for you, do it.
9. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you their baby slept through the night at six weeks. It’s not helpful and they’re not your friend.
10. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you their baby didn’t sleep through the night for two years. It’s not helpful and they’re not your friend either.
11. Trust your instincts! You might be new to this but you know what’s best: if something feels wrong it probably is, and likewise if something feels right even though people are telling you otherwise then it probably is.
Love from third time mum me xxx
What do you wish you’d known as a new mum (or dad)? I’d love to know what you would have told your younger first time parent self!
This post is an entry for BritMums #VicksBabyRub challenge, sponsored by Vicks BabyRub. Specially designed for babies aged six months and over, Vicks BabyRub (rrp Β£3.99) is available at Boots, Superdrug, Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and all good pharmacy chains.
It’s funny looking back isn’t it? This is such a fab post and I have to say your handwriting is gorgeous! #FamilyFun
What a good challenge! I think I would struggle to write this for me though. Not sure why. I just think my first time Round was quite stress free that I wouldn’t want me to change it! It’s part of me! βͺThank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinkyβ¬
With reference to 10: what are those of us who have struggled with a child who doesn’t sleep through supposed to do? Pretend of be consumed with guilt about being a ‘bad friend’ if we talk about OUR own experience?
I think that’s very different from saying something will/won’t happen. That would be cruel and unhelpful. But if someone asks me ‘when did your baby sleep through’ all worried, should I lie and make them worry their kid is weird because they don’t sleep through: as someone whose child slept so badly no matter what we did I was ill at times, I actually craved someone telling me I wasn’t alone and there wasn’t something ‘wrong’ with my child or my parenting.
Loved this. I often think I would tell myself much of these things if I could go back in time. I certainly would follow my gut more and not give myself such a hard time. #AnythingGoes
Hells yeah to number 5. Discovering that was a revelation and it should be on the packaging. I also wish someone would have told me that having a baby makes those around you weird and friends come and go #TwinklyTuesday
Yes I think remembering that labour can be totally different each time. X #twinklytuesday
I would tell myself that poonamis are normal, it’s just that noon tells you. I thought I was putting the nappys on wrong. I even googled how to put a nappy on! #twinklytuesday
Brilliant! And why doesn’t anyone tell you about number 5? Whenever I mentioned it to anyone it was always a revelation! Thanks for sharing and linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x
I so wish I’d known about the split shoulders for poonamis with my first and second! #TwinklyTuesday
Another brilliant post brimming with excellent advice! The dungarees one made me laugh. #familyfun
hehehe! Fab advice. There is so much to learn when you first become a parent which isn’t in all the advice books. #bloggersbest
Ahh yes I love reflecting on things like this!! Thanks for linking up! #BloggersBests
A wonderfully wise post – I was such a young mum, I’m surprised they made it! x
I am having reverse moments. I memory flashed up on fb where I discovered I was letting my 2 year old jump off a wharf (with a bubble on) with her siblings and cousins.). She was my 3rd child after a big age gap. I was shocked at what I now consider irresponsible parenting. I commented to a friend as much and she pointed out I was closely supervising and it was all fine (and my daughter, quite the dare devil, had loved it). I replied that if I saw some other parent doing it, I would be a judgey McJudgeface. SO, maybe to a first time mum, I would say “It’s ok to be nutty and over manage everything, because by the time #3 comes along, you will be a total slacker…” #KCACOLS
Love this post. We are just about to have Baby number 3 and completely agree… No two births or pregnancies are ever the same. I am also a lot more relaxed with this one. I didn’t start getting anything ready or consider what we needed for this Bub until a couple of weeks ago (33 weeks) #TheListLinky
Such a lovely post! I too wish I knew I didnβt need to take quite so much stuff to the hospital! I think I took THREE bags!!
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
I was nodding along the whole way through reading this! I was clearing out a unit in my children’s bedroom the other day and found a pair of teeny tiny nail clippers in there that I don’t think we ever used! And luckily I had my sister to advise me on some things so definitely didn’t bother packing a hairdryer or straighteners in my hospital bag! x #TheListLinky
Excellent and such a lovely post. The one about sleeping through the night really resonated. I did read that ‘sleeping through the night’ is defined as 5 solid hours…. This certainly doesn’t fit with my definition of sleeping through the night. Pen x #KCACOLS
As a mum of one, I’ve obviously ‘only’ been through this once but my top advice is what’s right for one family might not be right for yours. And yours is what matters now and in the long-run. Do everything for you and your family and no-one else. #kcacols
I can’t believe I didn’t know that still about babygros! Great tips and advice for mums!
I had my second baby nearly 11 weeks ago and I look back at first time Mum me and totally agree with everything that you have said. #KCACOLS
I still always have a pot of Vicks in the cupboard #KCACOLS
I hope number one is right cause that was mental! #kcacols
Amazing how time as a parent can give you confidence, I will never forget the first few months, were they big learning curve X #bloggersbest
That picture at number 8 is fab! Great list of, growth? M’wah! #kcacols xo
It is amazing how much we learn as first time mums and loved your post. Commenting for myself and on behalf of BritMums and thanking you for taking part
[…] They tell it like it is. Like the reason babygrows have envelope shoulders is so that you can pull them down as well as up when a poonami strikes. I was 12 months in with […]
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