Ever feel like life is harder than it needs to be? Do you find yourself getting stressed about things you know you shouldn’t be getting stressed about?
Then read on!
As a work-at-home mum of three I often feel like life is harder than it needs to be, and the thing is I know that a lot of the time it’s me who’s making life harder in the first place. What with mum guilt and trying to be all things to all people and general stuff I know I’m my own worst enemy sometimes (ok a lot of the time).
If that sounds like you too the good news is we’re not alone. Life coach and personal development expert Carole Ann Rice has identified 5 ways we make life hard for ourselves – and more importantly how to stop!
5 ways we make life hard for ourselves (& what to do about it)
1. Overthinking things. “When we spend too long overthinking something, we throw ourselves into more fear and doubt,” says Carole Ann, who is one of the UK’s leading life coaches. “Overthinking something is like putting the brakes on and hesitating. Instead, trust yourself to make a decision in the moment and quickly move on. When we dwell in thought, we can exaggerate details and invent a whole situation that simply never existed in the first place.”
2. Give up on perfectionism. “Perfectionists want everything to be ‘just so’,” she says. “But life doesn’t work that way – you could end up spending three hours on an email when three minutes would suffice. Perfectionists make a lot of work for themselves; learn that progress is better than perfectionism and that nobody cares about the finer nuances of minor things.” (If you’re looking for ways to relax, the kava plant acts a lot like alcohol on the brain, relaxing muscles and helping to make you feel calm and happy. For more information see www.kavaguides.com)
3. Not giving yourself enough time. “Set your morning alarm earlier so that you have time for breakfast, a shower, and whatever else needs to be done,” says Carole Ann. “Always build in a safety net of time when doing anything from replying to an email to meeting someone in town. If you’re constantly rushing around, you’re bound to make mistakes and be more stressed in the process.”
4. Not planning ahead. “Planning ahead makes everything easier,” Carole Ann says. “Make sure you have enough time to do the things you need to do – allow yourself space in between meetings and always have fresh food in the house so you don’t rely on a takeaway in the heat of the moment.”
5. Being a YES person. “When we commit to things that we don’t want to do, we feel resentment,” she says. “Learn to say no if you don’t want to do something – your time is precious, and your opinion is important. You don’t always have to be a people pleaser, especially when you barely have enough time to deal with your own issues.”
Are you guilty of making life hard for yourself like me? Are there any tips you can take from the above? I’d love to know which advice resonates with you!
Carole Ann is winner of Best Coach in the Best Business Women’s Awards 2017 and works with her clients to improve relationships, diet, energy, health & wellbeing and confidence. For more information click here. And for help finding a therapist in your area click here.
I totally overthink, which does help with planning ahead in an ironic way. Except it makes the process a bit longer and harder. At least I know I do it, which is half the battle! Interesting list. #MMBC
Ahh! I make my life harder than it should be. I am an overthinker and it drives me crazy. I think about all the what if’s which I don’t really need to. It does help with the planning of things though. lol #MMBC
Such common mistakes and so very female! I think I may be found guilty on every count! #DreamTeam
Oh no.. this is me! Is there hope? LOL! With exception to getting up early and over planning everything, I’m totally guilty as above. Thanks for joining us for the #dreamteam – I totally need to chill out x
I am so guilty of some of these, well with the exception of number 4 because I plan everything! But it is true, we are our own worst enemy at times.
Thanks for sharing with #MMBC. Enjoy the rest of your week. x
Agree on all of the above points. Don’t even get me started on overthinking and stressing – I know it wears me down but I can’t help myself. I think it’s ingrained in us as mothers! But you are so right, we can often make things a tad easier for ourselves, if we just allow it. Great post, thanks for sharing it with us on #itsok
Absolutely, I think no. 5 is the big one for me and the one I had to change. I had to start learning to say ‘no’ to people and put myself and my family first. And more to the point realise that I don’t have to feel bad about it either. Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish and put yourself first. It’s good therapy! #itsok
I used to be a Yes person. And I’m definitely not a morning person.
Thanks for linking up to the #itsok linky.
What a great post. All 5 items on your list are really necessary to make our own lives easier. Lot’s of free therapy packed in this post! #dreamteam xoxo
It boils down to knowing yourself. Some people work well when a little pressure’s applied and others don’t thrive on it at all. #mmbc
Hi, these are all do me with the exception of number 4 as I always plan ahead #mmbc