‘Mummy when can I have my ears pierced?’ That’s the question I’m being asked a gazzilion times a day by the oldest at the moment.
She’s six and desperate to have them done. So desperate it’s all she talks about morning, noon and night.
The thing is I feel her pain. I too was desperate to have my ears pierced from as young as I can remember but was always told I had to wait until I was 16.
In the end my parents caved in when I was 12, probably fearing I would go somewhere unsuitable and get them done or worse, do it myself.
I used to argue until I was blue in the face that I wasn’t going to change my mind so why couldn’t I just have them done now, and anyway, all my friends had them done.
I doubt BB will change her mind either, and it’s true several of her friends have theirs done, but that’s not the point. Isn’t childhood short enough as it is without encouraging them to grow up too fast?
Apparently seven is the average age for girls to have their ears pierced. BB will be seven next month yet it feels wrong on so many levels.
Ear piercing is for life: once it’s done it’s done and there’s no going back. I wouldn’t dream of letting her have a tattoo, yet it’s essentially the same thing when you think about it.
In a well known accessories shop on our local high street (which will remain nameless but starts with a ‘C’ and ends with an ‘s’) they pierce ears in the window for free. I’ve seen babies and toddlers screaming their heads off having had one ear done and being forcibly held down by their parents while the gun-wielding shop assistant attempts to put the hole in the other. As a mum it pulls on every heart string I have. Why would anyone do that to their child?
I have explained the pain factor and the aforementioned gun-wielding shop assistant to BB, but she appears unphased.
Then there’s the aftercare: the salt water baths, the taping them up for PE or even taking them out and putting them back in again herself. Can a six-year-old really be trusted to take responsibility for this themselves?
Of course it’s her body, her decision – and I think it’s important to respect that. But when she’s older, not when she’s six.
Should I let my daughter have her ears pierced? I asked some fellow parenting bloggers what they think and their answers fall into two very different camps.
Should I let my daughter have her ears pierced?
No!
“If YOU think she’s too young then you’ve already answered your own question,” says Amy at Amy Treasure. “While I believe children should have autonomy over their bodies it is still our responsibility as parent to guide them and six years of age isn’t old enough to make this type of decision.”
“I begged to have mine done at seven, and my dad gave in (without my mum knowing),” says Emily at Emily and Indiana. “I was too young to care for them myself though, and in the end I just let the holes close up. I got them re-pierced again when I was a teen and much more responsible – but now I have two sets of holes right next to each other! I won’t be letting mine get them done that young. It wasn’t worth it!”
“No no no! My best friend got hers ripped out in the swimming pool when we were seven – unknown to her, the butterfly got caught on her hair and when she pulled her wet hair away it ripped the earring out,” says Tina at Girls Gospel. “My daughter is six now and I’ll be making her wait until the summer she is starting secondary school.”
“I think younger than 10 it really isn’t necessary and also it’s impractical for things like sports when they aren’t yet capable of taking them in and out themselves,” says Laura at Five Little Doves. “I also think children should be children. There’s plenty of time when they grow.”
“I was made to wait until I was 11 and I NEVER wear them!” says Nicole at The Littlest Darlings. “I wish I’d never got them done. It’s pointless me having them!”
Yes!
“My daughter who is six has just had them done after asking constantly,” says Kay at Mummy Burgess. “I said at any point she didn’t want them she could say and we would stop. She saw me get another cartilage piercing and that still didn’t put her off! She didn’t even flinch when she had them done. She looks after them herself (with my supervision) and loves them.”
“I allowed my daughter to have hers done for her sixth birthday,” says Beth at Life As Mum. “She was so excited and she loves them. It was her choice and her words, which is why I didn’t mind.”
“My daughter really wanted hers done when she was little and for some reason I told her she could when she was eight,” says Angela at The Life of Spicers. “I was totally plucking a number out of the air. She never let me forget it so she did get them done on her 8th birthday and actually she looked after them very well. I made her understand that she had to look after them, clean them and that it was likely going to hurt the first time she took them out (and it did). However adhoc my decision was, it worked really well for us.”
“My son had his ear pierced as a Christmas gift (he was seven in the January). He had been adamant for a long time, had real clear points for wanting it done, and we had talked about the pain. He’s had his piercing for six months and has taken such care of it,” says Debbie at An Organised Mess.
“I was seven when I had my ears pierced,” says Laura at The Delaney Diaries. “I was so pleased and think I stood in front of the mirror staring at them for weeks!”
What do you think? Do you have your ears pierced and how old were you when you had them done? Do you have a son or daughter with pierced ears? I’d love to know what you think!
If you liked this you may also enjoy reading:
To the man who told me I should be ashamed of myself
10 things you should never say to a sleep deprived mum
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Linking up with these fabulous blogs!
Getting children’s ears pierced is controversial, isn’t it? I think that it is a personal choice, I didn’t get mine pierced until I was 14, I don’t like to see young babies wearing earrings, they are beautiful enough without jewellery, I don’t have daughters only sons, I think wait until a child is old and responsible enough to take care of their ears after getting them peirced#familyfun@_karendennis
Oh this is such an emotive topic. There isn’t an easy answer I think your gut feeling is right. I wasn’t allowed to have mine done until I was 14. #FamilyFun
Ooooo we don’t know!? We’re in both camps and can see both views. It’s a tough one, thankfully I haven’t asked my folks yet!! #FamilyFunLinky
Such a difficult one. If you think she’s too young, then you’ve probably answered your own question.. I’d wait until secondary school and make it part of that particular rite of passage. (I had mine done at 14, the same age as the Tubblet is now. She is totally uninterested in getting her ears pierced but if she asked I’d probably agree).
I don’t know the answer. I had mine done at 10 for my birthday and did not see an issue. My mum ensured I only had very good earrings and taught me how to look after my ears. It hurts of course but not for long. Thankfully my daughter is not bothered about having hers done at all and neither are my boys so I have got off easy on this one. I know it is an issue that polarises parents. Good Luck whatever you decide #TwinklyTuesday
My 5 year old wants her ears pierced too. I say she is too young but she can’t understand why her friends can have them or her cousin who is the same age and not her. She hasn’t mentioned them in a few weeks so I am hoping she has forgotten!! I had my pierced when I was 5 too #twinklytuesday
Personally, I made my daughter wait until she was 13 and that felt right for us. She took care of them herself etc. I wouldn’t have wanted her to have them pierced before the age of 10. As a teacher all I can say is please wait until the summer holidays as kids with newly pierced ears are the bane of my life as I’m having to tape them all up for PE. #dreamteam
My twins are only 3 but I had assumed I would have way longer than 3 years before I had to make this type of decision. I was 10 before I started pestering the bejesus out of my parents thanks for joining the #DreamTeam this week
My parents made me wait until I was 16 to get my ears pierced and I did on my 16th birthday. They stayed in a few weeks until I got bored with them….lol
My girls have never really been bothered about getting their ears pierced but I think if they were asking I would at least wait until they were about 14/15 when they were responsible enough to keep them clean. #bloggersbest
I was told I had to wait until I was 16 to have mine done and by that point I wasn’t too fussed in all honesty. I remember going into town with my friend and her mum and they took me to have it done, sounds odd now!! I was obviously old enough to look after them and keep them clean and my mum didn’t mind I’d had it done- she wasn’t girly and in reality probably would have passed out watching me have it done!
I’d always thought I’d let Ella have hers done when she was about 10/11 but Mr J actually said when she was 7 that he thought we should let her. We took her to a piercing place rather than that place beginning with C’s- they’re much better qualified and don’t use a gun either. We showed her how to clean them and turn them and she did a really good job. Three years on she very rarely wears earrings (probably laziness!) but she has the option.
I’d say it’s up to her really and whether you think she can keep them clean. The summer holidays are a good time as school usually don’t allow earrings for PE so it gives plenty of time for them to heal.
Totally with you on babies and toddlers having it done. IMO it looks vile and tantamount to abuse putting them through that pain!
#bloggersbest
I was 9 and it was fine.Had it done over the 6 weeks. My daughter is a little scared of pain so not sure she will want just yet. I think at 6, I’d go through all the pros and cons and really let them think. If they go for it and they heal up, you have warned them! Thanks for sharing with #bloggersbest x
Poppingback with #bloggersbest
This is such a difficult topic, I think they need to be old enough to take responsibility for them before they can have them done! #TwinklyTuesday
This would be My six year old’s idea of hell!! She is terrible with pain or needles and is a very young six. Her sister on the other hand would happily have her ears, belly button and nipples pierced. She’s three!
I guess ultimately I’d base it on each individual child – I didn’t have mine done until secondary school but then I was too busy collecting cheesy bugs in the garden until then…
Good luck!
Thanks for linking to #CoolMumClub
I’m firmly in the No category. I was made to wait till I was 11 and even though I took care of them I still remember the pain when one became infected and actually swelled so much the butterfly part cut into my ear. I really don’t think they’re practical for young children and would be worried about them getting accidentally ripped out. My absolute bugbear is seeing babies with their ears pierced, that was clearly not their choice and I don’t understand inflicting pain on your child for fashion. Secondary school is plenty early enough.
Thank you for joining the #FamilyFunLinky x
I’m not a fan of children with their ears pierced. While it’s certainly less hassle and worry than a tattoo or other body piercings and can let them close up, their bodies are still growing, and they shouldn’t be thinking about piercing it until they’re older. I was told I could have mine done at 14, but had them done the summer I was 13. I bite my nails so struggled to rotate them daily, and they were gunky so nearly made me faint trying to do it. My mum had to do it for me. At that age I was easily able to take them out for PE lessons.
Our primary school doesn’t allow jewellery other than a watch. Earrings can’t be worn so if kids have them pierced they have to replace them with plastic inserts for school. I just think younger children who run around and play a lot more roughly than teenagers, have a lot more risk of having earrings ripped out. People defend it and say it doesn’t happen, but as an adult I’ve lost 1.5 pairs of diamond earrings from them falling out, gold studs falling out at swimming, and various studs also getting caught on towels when I’m drying my hair or getting caught in hair. So surely it’s more risky for kids
Thankfully I have a boy – and he’s never thought about ear piercings, I don’t think we know any men with an earring, so I’m hoping I don’t need to have the conversation in future. I hate earrings on men more than seeing young girls with them, so I wouldn’t look forward to that discussion.
I’m not sure how I feel on this one. I had mine done quite young, infact I remember it closed up and my Mum’s friend put a needle through it to open it up again. I really don’t like the idea of mine having theirs done quite so young. Thankfully neither of them have asked me if they can have them done… yet! Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday
Each to their own taste. I don’t have mine pierced. #FamilyFunLinky
Mine was 7. In hindsight, it is a lot of work. I would have waited a few more years. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
Always a contentious one, I caved in with Clio after her good year 6 SATs results. Now at 14 she wants a nose piercing and I feel we are treading the same ground again! #KCACOLS
Ooh well timed! Our 8yo has been asking forever and is getting hers done the first day of the summer hols! I’ve explained the pain but she’s determined. We’ve been very reluctant until now but she’s matured so much in the past few months. #kcacols
My daughter was 10. Yes I made her wait until she was old enough to be able to look after them herself. I’m sure it was torture for her because she was asking from about 6 onwards. I don’t agree with having babies with pierced ears. Just a personal preference, as they are too young to understand the pain, plus they can’t look after them whilst their healing, plus they are such a risk at that age when they are just learning to crawl. Mine get caught in my clothes all the time. I’d be gutted to yank one out of a babies ear. #KCACOLS
my daughter is 7 and has had them for a few years now. I wanted to make sure she was old enough to understand the care involved and that taking care of them was a responsibility but didn’t see any reason to wait. I have a buddy that runs a tatoo parlor and I had him do them with a needle, as opposed to a piercing gun and it was a breeze #KCACOLS
This is great timing for this post! O am thinking of getting my daughter’s ears pierced before our wedding next month but my mum is horrified. I was desperate to get my ears pierced when I was little but then lost interest and didn’t get them done until I was 21. My daughter isn’t too interested but kind of likes the idea. #coolmumclub
I totally agree with your gut feeling – 6 is too young. I remember desperately wanting my ears pierced and my mum made me wait until I was 11 and starting secondary school. It was a rite of passage that made me feel like I was growing up and taking care of them reinforced this. Totally agree on the baby front – I can’t see the argument for causing unnecessary pain to a baby, whether it is a cultural thing or not.
Thanks for including me lovely.
I personally don’t agree for kids under 5 to have their ears pierced. I am not saying that because I allowed my daughter to get them done at 6. I have always said if they ever asked me (over 5) to get their ears pierced I wouldn’t say no. I did wait about 2-3 months in case she changed her mind. She didn’t so we took her to get them done for her birthday. She absolutely loves them. #KCACOLS
We gave in at 8, for BIG, which of course made LITTLE want them right away… so she persevered until 7! Oy, in retrospect, we could have caved earlier! #KCACOLS xoxo
I was ten. I would probably wait until my kid was eight. #kcacols
I think this is quite a tricky one, and quite a personal decision in the end. I have a feeling my daughter will start asking soon, but she’s only 4 so will be waiting quite a while before I say yes to her having it done! x #KCACOLS
Our daughter is six too and she hasn’t asked yet – but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time … #KCACOLS