Four months. That’s how long it takes the average new mum to get their confidence back when they return to work after maternity leave according to a study.
What with the weird things pregnancy does to you, like the strange way it changes your face, and the odd things you worry about now you’re a mum, I can’t say I’m surprised.
Add to that the fact you’ve probably been talking baby all day every day for the last however many months and worn nothing but a mummiform (mine consists of no make-up, leggings and a vest top and either Ugg boots or Birkenstocks depending on the time of year, topped off with a zero-maintenance mum-bun) the prospect of re-entering adult society is enough to make you want to cower under the highchair with a bottle of wine.
So, if and when you do emerge bleary-eyed from the fug of new motherhood, dust yourself down with the omnipresent baby wipes and start thinking it might be about time to shed the leggings and vest tops (note the if and when – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘just’ a mum) how can you do it with confidence?
5 ways to rock being a working mum
1. Go shopping. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. When I went for an interview for my dream job just three months after Little B was born I hadn’t bought ‘work’ clothes for more than four years and wore a wildly out-of-date noughties outfit. Unsurprisingly I felt less Anna Wintour and more Bridget Jones. Why didn’t I just go shopping? (I still got the job by the way, only I was later forced to give it up because I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. It turns out you can’t have it all. But that’s another story).
2. Never underestimate the power of war paint. Last week I was invited to a Mumsnet and Boots event about returning to work with confidence after having a baby where, after a truly inspiring panel discussion with speakers including supermodel Jade Parfitt, I was treated to a makeover by the No7 team.
I discovered No7’s Instant Radiance Under Eye Concealer, which boasts light reflectors and an ‘optical blurrer’. Three blobs blended in under each eye hides the darkest of broken nights – even the packaging promises you can ‘cheat your way to the appearance of bright, healthy and youthful eyes’. Whoever said make-up is self-confidence applied directly to the face is absolutely right.
Here I am before my makeover, looking slightly dazed with tiredness (picture taken by Megan over at Truly Madly Kids, who I last saw when we watched Stephen Mangan give birth. Again that’s another story).
And here I am afterwards, with the lovely Megan.
Also have a hair cut, because as Coco Chanel said: ‘A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.’
3. Ask for help. I often feel totally over-whelmed by all the things there are to do on weekdays. Can you share the school or nursery run with friends, taking it in turns on different days? Could you ask the grandparents for more help? Pay for help if you can. When I go back to work after having baby number three we’re getting a cleaner. We can’t afford it, but we can’t afford for me to go insane either.
4. If it’s not working, change it. Talk to your colleagues. Talk to your boss. Request flexi time. Get your other half to request flexi time. Or if it’s really not working maybe it’s time to consider a job you can work around being a stay-at-home mum. Could you go freelance? Do you have a business idea you put on the back burner before becoming a mum? Now might be the time to revisit it.
5. Remember you’re a superwoman! You’ve grown a human being, either pushed it out of your chuff (Misery Guts’s words, not mine!) or produced it from your own custom-made sunroof. You’ve kept yourself and this tiny human being alive ever since, and you’ve developed superpowers you never dreamed of. You can do anything! You’ve got this.
Have you recently returned to work after having a baby? Are you thinking about or preparing to return to work? I’d love to hear your tips!
Linking up with…
Fab tips and make up definitely helps us feel and look more human. I’m lucky I mostly work from home so can get away with sitting in a hoodie, eye bags and all! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays x
Couldn’t agree with this more! Make-up and new clothes helped me feel more me, if that makes sense! Love the concealer!
I’ve always worked with little maternity leave too – none at Coombe Mill. I wouldn’t have it any other way, I like to feel I can buy something new when I want to treat myself. That said I think the way I’ve done it isn’t for everyone, it’s just what works for me #MarvMondays
Great tips. I think the key is to just put your head down and get on with it and don’t give guilt etc houseroom. But everyone is different and what works for me may not work for others
Really fantastic post. Returning to work or deciding to become self employed is one of the hardest decisions parents have to face and it doesn’t surprise me that it takes that long to regain confidence in the job world. I think it took me much longer to get my confidence back.
I had exactly the same clothing crisis when going to some of my first meetings as self employed. The first thing I did when I got home was order some new items that had a massive effect on my confidence.
You are literally bang on with every other point too. I should have asked for help sooner and made changes quicker rather than struggling on and thinking I was failing. I have no doubt that this post will help working Mumma’s 🙂 #marvmondays
This is fab as I will be returning in 6 months. I found the first time I had lost so much confidence. Determined not to let this happen second time around. The eye stuff looks like a winner!! x #marvmondays
This is a really positive post hun, and it’s not easy going back to work after having a baby. I put on my war paint for 9-months and have decided to resign to pursue something that can be a little more flexible. Scary but exciting. It’s a shame I missed you at the Mumsnet and No7 event last week, my hubbie had to work so I unfortunately couldn’t attend. Claire x #MarvMondays
This post is so relevant to me at the minute! Last week was my first week back, in some ways it’s been easier than I expected but the workload is a little overwhelming. It’s like there just isn’t enough room in my brain for everything!! #postsfromtheheart
Brilliant tips and I will keep my eye out for that No 7 concealer! I also really like the quote ‘a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life’. I always feel a hair cut represents a fresh start! #TwinklyTuesday
These are really useful tips, i’m due back at work in July full time!
#Twinklytuesday
Great post 🙂 agree with everything. I think after going back to work in October i am finally getting back into it. Apart from me having around 6 weeks off due to Blooming gallstones!! Xx #twinklytuesday
Great advice! I hated returning to work after having my first child, I felt like I just didn’t fit. I found it easier to have completely different clothes for work and for home – it made me feel a bit more professional. I love the sound of that concealer, think I’ll be giving it a go. #TwinklyTuesday
What a fab post. Being a working mum certainly isn’t for everyone, and if you do go back to work find what suits you and your circumstances. And I totally agree about asking for help. I couldn’t do the job I do without the help of grandparents picking up the kids when hubby is working his shifts. #marvmondays
Couldn’t agree more with these. I have been back at work for 14 months now and still have my moments. Since my manager changed to someone who has 3 kids and whose wife works, it has felt a little easier. Having someone who can relate and empathise with the juggling act is important. Before that I worked for someone whose wife is at home (so could come and go as he pleased) and another guy who didn’t have kids. Try as they did, they couldn’t relate so you have to fall back on things like you’ve suggested! #MarvMondays
Brilliant tips here. I need to look for that concealer!
Totally agree with your tips! Asking for help is a defo! #MarvMondays
I’m totally bookmarking this for when it’s time to return – I’m never seen without my mummiform (great word btw) at the moment so I’ll need to remember how to function like a respectable adult again #TheListLinky
‘A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.’ – Love this quote! You’ve got some great tips here 🙂 #MarvMondays
I love this and I think the study is true. Im approaching the three month mark and I am really starting to feel me again. after the initial amazing relief of peeing alone and drinking hot drinks when i want, i found a lul. A “is this what my life is like now” stress.
This past week i have felt so much more me and confident in what im finding! #PostsFromTheHeart
Great tips! New clothes and “war paint” definitely boost my confidence! Supermoms unite!
This is such a brilliant post. I felt lost when I went back after my first. Then I moved company and felt lost again as none of my team had kids and were all about their careers. My maternity leave ends at the end of August and as yet I have no idea what I’m going to do. I know I don’t want to go back to my company though! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
I have been back since September and it’s been o.k but i miss being at home. I have just had a wicked week off with Harry for 1/2 term and will be sad to be back in work next week#PostsFromTheHeart
[…] I thought I’d add to my series of ‘5 ways’ posts – see 5 ways to rock being a working mum and 5 ways running will change your life – with 5 ways parenting is easier in […]
These are great tips. A new non mummy outfit can really help change your mindset ! #PostsFromTheHeart
?I dont know how I managed to even function following maternity leave.
A haircut and a shopping trip are fab tips, they really help to focus yourself on yourself and that is needed if you are going to be putting yourself forwars in the workplace. #twinklytuesday
I need to try that concealer! Going to see if I can find it tomorrow! I really struggled going back to work after maternity leave, especially as I was sopping breastfeeding at the same time and my boobs were leaky and swollen- should have planned that better but I wanted to breastfeed for the whole first year. I agree a haircut can do wonders as well! #PostsFromTheHeart
Lovely post and great tips, it’s such a change going back to work and difficult to get used to doing two roles (i.e. mummy and career mum) #KCACOLS
These are great tips. It took me a really long time to get my confidence back but when I did, it was a whole new me. I had a new sense of priorities and was much better able to identify what mattered and what didn’t. It made me a much better People manager and mum as a result. Mrs H xx #KCACOLS
I’m lucky that my wife wants to stay at home with Snappy while I work. I’d be an awful sahm, but I’m a great working mum.
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday.
Fab tips. I actually resigned to be a SAHM as I didn’t want to miss his early years. Work will come again and will keep your tips in mind x #KCACOLS
I am very very lucky to work for my parents, ultimate flexible life! But when I first went back it was for a big company and it’s very scary. #kcacols
Brilliant tips here. Make up and new clothes are great for confidence. I love the concealer.
#KCACOLS
Great tips. I’m going back soonish (in 4 months) and I definitely need new clothes! #KCACOLS
Great tips. I returned to work after a year off but after three months realised it really wasn’t working. After 11 years I quit my career and am now retraining in hubbies line of work. Once little one starts school who knows, I could be going to the big wife work world again. These tips are encouraging. Feel like you can take on the world
Great tips! I’m very fortunate to not have to return to work for a few years yet, I’m in awe with those that do though!
These are lovely feelgood tips. It’s certainly about you when you return to work. And being fabulous must help for sure. We are both self employed and I must admit I didn’t need a new hair do etc. But I can imagine the benefits
Via #KCACOLS sorry forgot again. Grrrr me
I decided not to return back to work after having my daughter so I didn’t really have these worries but I can imagine just how awful I would have felt after going back with a proper jelly belly and baggy eyes! Great tips! #KCACOLS
Fab tips! And I need to get me some of that under eye concealer, my dark circles and ridiculous! x #KCACOLS
I went back after both my two and I love it but boy is it knackering so I need under eye concealer to be delivered by tipper truck every wednesday:)
Mainy
#KCACOLS
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