I’ve got a confession. And I feel like it’s a dirty secret.
It involves dirty laundry (LOTS of it), twenty quid and a man called Stuart.
When I say LOTS of dirty laundry, I do mean LOTS. When we announced we were expecting baby number three a friend jokingly told me I’d never see the bottom of our dirty laundry basket again, and she wasn’t wrong.
I haven’t seen the bottom of our dirty laundry basket for almost a year now, not since Littlest B arrived on Valentine’s Day 2017 in fact.
Not only have I not seen the bottom of it, it’s so rammed full we can no longer put anything in it either.
We now have so much dirty laundry it resides in a permanent pile next to the dirty laundry basket, a washing mountain that grows bigger by the day.
I’ve considered getting a bigger basket – or one for our bedroom and one for the kids’ bedroom – but that’s not solving the problem, it’s simply hiding it. And hiding it isn’t going to make it go away.
The problem is we don’t have any outside space or a tumble drier, and we live in a block of flats where tumble driers aren’t allowed for fire safety reasons. It therefore takes 24 hours to get one load of washing clean and dry before you can put the next load on, and despite the machine going on every single day what with it being winter and there being five of us coupled with weaning and potty training it’s simply impossible to keep on top of it.
Last summer I actually took all our dirty washing with us on our Hoburne holiday because I knew they had a launderette and I’d be able to get it all clean and dry while we were away.
I remember being mightily pleased with myself for hitting on this idea at the time, but what on earth was I thinking? Who takes their dirty laundry with them on holiday? I should have been playing with the kids or simply sitting down doing nothing, not standing in a launderette on a holiday park feeling smug for folding hot towels.
It’s now got to the point our washing mountain is so big that an industrial scale solution is needed, the sort of industrial scale solution you’ll only find in a launderette.
So I googled launderettes and discovered our local launderette not only has industrial scale washing machines, they’ll pick up your dirty washing and deliver it back to you clean, dry and folded too.
Why did no-one tell me this? This kind of information should be in the Bounty packs they give you in hospital: nevermind leaflets for newborn photographers and baby swimming lessons – if I’d known the launderette would not only collect my smalls from my front door but wash them, dry them, fold them and deliver them back to me ready to be put away in my knicker drawer they’d have had my custom years ago.
It’s not a case of laziness, it’s a case of maths.
I calculated our washing mountain was the equivalent of at least five separate loads of washing, which added to the aforementioned lack of outside space and tumble drier issue equals five days to process, plus it’s being added to each day.
If the launderette were to collect the washing mountain and do it for me, it would all be done within a day.
‘I’ve got a dirty secret & he’s called Stuart’
So I called the launderette and spoke to a man called Stuart, who promptly arrived on the doorstep with a knowing smile, relieved me of the washing mountain and delivered it back clean, dry and folded just three hours later in return for twenty quid.
Three hours! Twenty quid! It would have taken me five whole days and almost cost me my sanity!
For that reason I’ve added Stuart to my list of superheroes I can’t live without, but the thing is I can’t help feeling he’s a dirty secret.
What must the neighbours think, what with the Hello Fresh delivery van arriving on a Monday, Tesco on a Wednesday and now Stuart on a Friday, all with their branded vans?
It’s honestly not a case of can’t be arsed, won’t be arsed, it’s a case of can’t cope, need help.
I haven’t told anyone else about Stuart either (Misery Guts knows, of course) – you’re the first to know.
The fact is there’s currently three people in our marriage, and while Stuart and his knowing smile is one of the best things that’s happened to us lately I can’t help but feel by admitting it I’ll be judged.
Do you have a washing mountain that sits next to your dirty laundry basket too? Have you ever visited a launderette or had a Stuart collect it in a bid to get on top of it? If there’s a Stuart in your life I’d love to hear about him (or her)!
Ha ha this really made me giggle! Well done you! It’s a nightmare at this time of year when you can’t peg out stuff isn’t it! My house looks like a launderette! Fab idea, I think many people would like their own dirty secret!
I love this! I’m considering a cleaner. My childminder told me she pays someone £20 to come once every two weeks to do a proper clean, then she just has to do little bits. I’m so tempted!! #familyfunlinky
This is such a good idea. I think we get trapped into this idea that we ‘should’ do stuff even when we can’t actually do it properly due to circumstances, which ends up in a downward spiral.
If you’re getting it done, and everyone’s happier, why not!? 🙂
I wish I’d known about this when I lived in a flat! We are noe in a bungalow and my washer/dryer is just outside the kitchen door. I can do washing to my hearts content lol, not that I really want to lol.
#FamilyFun
Who cares what others think! You’re doing what you need to do to keep your family live and well. PLUS maybe some of your friends & family would want in on your side-man, too.
#familyfunlinky
Katelynn, hampersandhiccups.com
That is such a great idea.
I am sitting here right now with piles upon piles of washing that needs to be done, but without a tumble dryer, I have to hang everything off radiators and switch it all around when things start to dry. I think I have turned insane from it. 🙂 #twinklytuesday
We survive in this mothering life by taking help wherever we can find it!
I love Stuart – and I’ve never net him. There aren’t enough Stuart’s in the world! Very funny post. #TwinkyTuesday
Shortly after we had L, yup just the one child, I gave my husband an ultimatum of sourcing a tumble dryer and finding somewhere to set it up, or handling the laundry by himself. I couldn’t get by without one. I don’t know how you have managed so long without Stuart!!! He sounds the best #TwinklyTuesday
Brilliant idea, I honestly don’t know how you could have managed without Stuart for so long! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x
I’ll admit that I got a pretty good chuckle out of the idea of bringing laundry with you on holiday. I guess whatever it takes! #familyfun
Hi, this made me laugh great idea taking the laundry on holiday, and yeh to Stuart.I think a few of us might be trying this niow #BloggersBest
That’s genius! Such a good idea if you’ve got a mountain of laundry and too much else to do. Just like getting a cleaner really. #BloggersBest
That sounds like a wonderful service and well worth it! I cannot imagine not having a dryer, laundry would not get done in my house! #BloggersBest
There’s only 3 of us and I still haven’t seen the bottom of the wash basket for months (it’s a huge hamper as well, not a tiny one). I have no excuse as we have outside space as well! I think I need a Stuart…. #coolmumclub
I am intensely jealous! As a Mum of three myself I would in no way see Stuart as a dirty secret…. I want a Stuart now too!! #coolmumclub xx
We grew up having to haul our laundry to the laundromat. I will never forget the first house that had a washer and dryer. I think I washed everything in sight! To be able to have a clean outfit in less than an hour. I was amazed. The first purchase my husband and I made when we moved into our new house is a washer and dryer. Didn’t have furniture but we had a washer and dryer! I feel your pain. Your secret is safe with me! #coolmumclub
Dirty laundry on holiday hahaha. But I can understand… oh dear!
God bless the Stuarts of the World, and if it makes life easier, go for it!!!
#coolmumclub
Judge you? Who would judge such GENIUS!
I once reviewed a delivery ironing company, and it was the one and only time my husband has ever had an ironed shirt for work 😉
It sounds like to me, like twenty quid well spent. The alleviation of laundry hell is worth every damn penny. I bet if you did start sharing your secret, all your mates would be after Stuarts number 😉
Loved this, you totally rock.
Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub hun
Oh wow! I think everyone needs a Stuart. I have no idea what the bottom of our laundry basket looks like and we only have two kids!
Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x
I do need a Stuart in my life, feel free to send him my way haha. Thanks so much for linking up! #BloggersBests
It’s the ironing I would like sorted!
#bloggersbest