Tuts, comments and disapproving stares.
That’s the reason many new mums decide to stop breastfeeding in the first six months of their baby’s life according to the latest Channel 4 Dispatches programme Breastfeeding Uncovered, looking at breastfeeding rates in UK.
In the programme, shown ahead of World Breastfeeding Week, new mum Kate Quilton (the blonde one from Food Unwrapped) sets out to find out why UK breastfeeding rates remain the lowest in the world.
While 80% of mothers in the UK start off breastfeeding, by six months that figure drops to 25% and at one year just 0.5% of mums are still breastfeeding – that’s one in 200.
According to the experts Kate speaks to in the programme many women cite negative attitudes towards breastfeeding in public as one of their reasons for giving up breastfeeding, and in a (very unscientific) experiment she sits on a bench in a shopping centre breastfeeding her baby son.
She later tells the camera the experience left her feeling like a ‘social outcast’ and a ‘leper’, retreating to the comfort of her own home to feed instead.
The thing is though, that hasn’t been my experience at all.
The truth about breastfeeding in public
I am one in 200. As a mum of three who has exclusively breastfed for a combined total of almost six years and counting I have never once had a negative experience breastfeeding in public.
I have never felt like a social outcast or a leper, and I have never (knowingly) had anyone tutting at me or been on the receiving end of disapproving looks or stares. And I’ve breastfed in some pretty public places.
Perhaps I am blind and deaf to it, perhaps it’s down to where we live (the so-called ‘liberal playground’ of Brighton and Hove) or perhaps I’ve simply been lucky. Or perhaps attitudes aren’t as negative as we’re led to believe.
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While I applaud programmes like Dispatches for shining a light on the issue of breastfeeding – because a light does need to be shone on it if breastfeeding rates in the UK are to be improved – I question how helpful (and true to life) the broadcast of Kate’s experience breastfeeding in public was.
With hair perfectly coiffed, make-up expertly applied and a camera crew at her heel she was bound to draw attention – with or without a baby plugged to a boob. The cameras were quite clearly there to capture public opinion, and passers-by played to those cameras. It’s human nature. A breastfeeding mum like me with hair scraped into the default mum-bun with no make-up and nothing but a buggy at her heel is unlikely to garner so much attention.
I’m not saying breastfeeding in public doesn’t attract negative attention – because I know it does – I’m saying Kate’s experience isn’t reflective of mine and I sincerely hope it doesn’t reaffirm a new mum’s fear of breastfeeding in public and put her off doing it altogether.
Don’t just take my word for it…
Kate’s experience isn’t reflective of some other breastfeeding mums I know, either. I asked some fellow parenting bloggers to share their experience of breastfeeding in public and here’s what they said:
“We’ve been breastfeeding 25 months and often in public, especially in the first year,” says Helen at Natural Beauty with Baby. “I’ve never received a comment, good or bad, which I’m so pleased about as it’s nobody else’s business, really! The more we breastfeed in public, the better!”
“I am currently breastfeeding my eight-month-old and he is my second breastfed child and I can so far happily say that I’ve not ever had a bad experience when feeding in public,” says Emma at Emma Reed. “Even if someone did have something to say I would be more than happy to put them straight! No one will stop me doing what I need for my baby.”
“I remember the time I had to plonk myself at the outside section of coffee shop at a garden centre when I had Zach and a month-old Oscar with me,” says Lisa at Mumma Scribbles. “I sat down to feed him because he was screaming and I could feel the eyes of the elderly lady on the next table on me. At first I thought she was uncomfortable, but then as she was leaving, she popped over to me and asked if I wanted her to get me a cup of tea!”
“In 18 months I’ve been lucky to only ever receive positive reactions to my breastfeeding in public,” says Megan at Oatcake Adventures. “I wondered if it was down to the area that we lived in where breastfeeding rates are high, so I actually felt a little anxious breastfeeding in a supermarket cafe on holiday in Devon. I saw an elderly man and his wife walking straight for me midway through their shopping and I thought it would be my first negative experience – but actually he said how wonderful it was to see someone breastfeeding their hungry baby in the shop! Made my day!”
“I’ve been breastfeeding for nearly three and a half years now and tandeming for one,” says Charlotte at Looking After Your Pennies. “I’ve fed all over the place and only ever had positive experiences. Restaurants have offered to keep my dinner warm while I feed and I get asked if I want glasses of water. Plus I get lots of soppy looks from people.”
“I’ve been breastfeeding my eight-week-old in public since birth and have only really had positive experiences, mostly from staff and people asking if they can get me anything,” says Sophie at Soph-obsessed.
“I have breastfed all my three kids – my youngest is four years old and still nurses,” says Veronica at My Parenting Journey. “I like it when positive people smile and try to assist me when I breastfeed.”
“I breastfed my three-year-old for 15 months,” says Emma at Building with the Breretons. “I was so nervous at first. I remember very clearly the first time I did it in public. I was at The Trafford Centre and I was incredibly anxious. Then, like a sign from the Universe, I saw a lady walking around John Lewis with her boob on full show and her young baby latched on. She didn’t have a care in the world. I felt in that moment that she was my hero! It gave me the confidence to feed in public. I later bought a breastfeeding cover but not because I felt I had to, it just made me feel more comfortable.”
“I used to breastfeed publicly and given the size of my boobs when feeding there was no hiding it!” says Laura at Power of Mum. “The hardest time was having to breastfeed on the tube – my son and I were both really uncomfortable. I also had to breastfeed on a plane and accidentally sprayed the passenger next to me when my son violently latched off – luckily she was a fellow mum who just laughed. I often waited for my negative comment but it never came.”
What do you think? Did you see the Channel 4 Dispatches programme? Do you have experience of breastfeeding in public and was it good or bad? I’d love to hear about your experience!
World Breastfeeding Week runs from August 1 – 7 2018. To find out more visit www.worldbreastfeedingweek.org or search for the hashtag #WBW2018.
If you liked this you may also enjoy reading:
Why I gave up my dream job to breastfeed
5 great reasons to breastfeed beyond one
10 things you should never say to sleep deprived mum
Linking up with these fabulous blogs!
Think you were lucky. I’ve had many negative experiences. Staff sliding plates across table and running away when they realised I was feeding, an elderly man switching tables, being told to just give a bottle and to go to a Mother’s room. The disapproving looks were more upsetting than comments. If I reacted I’d be seen as the one in the wrong. I was confident in what I was doing so tried to not let it bother me. I also had many positive experiences, even when passed the newborn stage. I live in an area with very low breastfeeding rates and was often the only one breastfeeding at baby/toddler groups. I’m proud of what I achieved, feeding 2 children until they were toddlers. I just never felt it was something I could comfortably celebrate without being told why others chose formula and it was best for them. The statistics of people’s views that they’re just the same and the high drop off rates after a few weeks before Mums wanted to stop are alarming. I can’t think of any other area of healthcare that we’d accept poor advice and lack of help from professionals.
Totally with you on this, the reason women have breasts are for feeding their babies, unfortunately I never managed to feed mine for long, there wasn’t the support available then that there is now#blogginggoodtime@_karendennis
I actually felt very empowered breastfeeding in public, I felt more judged when I used a bottle. Thank you for sharing with #ablogginggoodtime
I’m one of the 1 in 200 too having fed both my girls well into the second year. I only caught the end of the Dispatches programme so can’t really comment although I should imagine that the camera crew would have drawn attention to Kate feeding on the bench and made it more likely there would be a reaction to it. I have only ever had disapproving looks once when feeding Sophie in a coffee shop when she was about 18 months old and I just gave a hard stare right back. I’d like to think I’m confident enough to be able ton challenge any negative comments but my experience has been overwhelmingly positive. The few times people have commented on me feeding in public have always been to say something encouraging. I have no doubt that breastfeeding mums do receive negative comments but not to the extent that social media would have us believe at times. It’s just that you’re more likely to shout about it if you’ve been on the receiving end of negativity. #ablogginggoodtime
i think the more open just do it the better, it is rediculous people objecting as it is a natural way t ofeed your baby X #ablogginggoodtime
I must have been very thick skinned as I never worried about feeding whenever I needed to, I think I mistook the stares for people admiring my baby – oops! #KCACOLS
It’s been awhile for me (since I did it) but I’m amazed there seems to be so much drama about it now – never had a comment ever, and that was a good 8 years ago and earlier. #KCACOLS
I breastfed Peachy for 14 months and I have never done so in public. Unless the car counts. Is that public? Maybe. I have no issue whatsoever with women who choose to breastfeed out in the open. Good for them! But it’s not for me. I guess I’m shy. My point is that choosing not to breastfeed in public should not be such a huge deterrent to breastfeeding. It may be a bit less convenient to plan your outings around feeding schedules but it’s not that hard and you can always find some out of the way place (or the car) to feed on the go. Where there’s a will there’s a way. #KCACOLS
A big part of it is your own personal attitude based on what you’ve read and just being a bit unsure about the whole thing. I never felt truly comfortable breastfeeding in public but my daughter fidgeted and popped on and off a lot so that didn’t help. I think you’re right though that most people are very supportive #kcacols
When I breastfed my teen nearly 16 years ago I was so self conscious about feeding in public….It seems it wasn’t as acceptable then as it is now which is a shame. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wouldn’t have given a stuff. #MMBC
I never experienced anything negative either, I fed anywhere and everywhere. I even opened the door to the tesco delivery driver mid feed and he didn’t bat an eyelid, just offered to pop my freezer stuff away as I was clearly busy. I did stop at 9 months though, not because I wanted to but because I was going back to work and they didn’t make my return easy at all, nor did they make the breaks that I was legally entitled to so I could pump a real option for me and I didn’t have the fight left in me, so I suppose I can see both sides. #TwinklyTuesday
I totally agree with you. I exclusively BF both my kids til 2 and 2 1/2. In all that time, I fed anywhere and everywhere and only ever received one negative comment. Well, it wasn’t really a negative comment – more ignorance! A group of builders on their break in the pub I was eating in started singing “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!” only just loud enough for me to hear! I had to stop my husband from going over and punching them! Haha! It was when my first baby was only 6 weeks old – it didn’t really bother me much but it could have put off another new mum who had less confidence, and that’s what people who pass comment need to understand. One bad experience could change the mum’s whole way of feeding/thinking and that’t not fair. #TwinklyTuesday
Would have loved to continue breastfeeding to be fair. I didn’t get a single negative comment but I did overhear an old dear in Wetherspoons saying I should do that in the toilet. I just replied maybe she should try eating her lunch in there. There isn’t a lot of negativity towards breastfeeding but the media portray the extreme because that’s how they get viewers #KCACOLS
How lovely to read some of these comments. I always, always felt self-concious feeding and managed for 3 weeks for various reasons. I’d definitely just go ahead and do it another time. #kcacols
I always wanted to exclusively breastfeed but due to my daughter’s tongue tie I couldn’t. We still managed to get 9 months of her having some breastmilk and I’m so proud of us both for that! I had someone start a fight with me in a restaurant because of breastfeeding and a man said “shall I just get my dick out at the table then”, so of course I replied “I’m pretty sure that’s not the same thing unless you feed THAT to your son!” Some people, eh?
Thank you so much for linking up with #KCACOLS! Hope to see you again next time!
I also have never had a negative experience when breastfeeding in public and always felt very comfortable doing it. I do live in an area known as Nappy Valley though so I guess no one would do any business if they didn’t accept and encourage breastfeeding 😉 I found this a really interesting read thanks for sharing with the #DreamTeam
I actually felt more odd breastfeeding my first in front of my dad than I did in public. I got over that pretty quick though! #kcacols
Interesting read, I only breastfed my two for a short time but I was always self conscious doing it if we were in public. I never had any negative comments but was always anxious that I would. Thanks for sharing and linking up #twinklytuesday
I find it hard to believe that the UK has the lowest rates of breastfeeding in the world when there seems to be so much support for breastfeeding from what I’ve read and heard. I definitely haven’t come across very much support here in Mexico, although maybe I didn’t look hard enough. I always imagined there was more acceptance of breastfeeding in public in the UK. #kcacols
I breastfed my daughter for a year and never had any negative reactions from anyone out in public. It’s lovely to read all these comments from other people who’ve had nothing but positive experiences too. x #KCACOLS