Dads on skateboards: no, no, no, no, NO!
Forget scooters. Thereās a new scourge of the pavements round our way: dads on skateboards. And not just 20-something dads: [...]
‘He was standing on the loo proudly displaying his willy’
Weāve been on a trip down memory lane in our house lately. It started when BBās granny gave her a 1984 copy of I Want To See The Moon by Louis Baum for Christmas (pictured), a fave when I was growing up. If you donāt know the story, itās about a little boy called Toby who wakes up in the night and wants to see the moon, but of course itās behind the clouds. In some ways itās very PC: thereās no sign of the mum (I always assumed she was at work) and the dad is the one who takes Toby out of his cot to the loo before making him some hot milk. But at the same time it contains illustrations you just wouldnāt get in a kids book today, like Toby standing on the loo proudly displaying his willy, also pictured. (āYou wouldnāt get away with that today!ā a male friend said when he saw it this weekend). […]
Why do they always discontinue beauty products I love?
Just when you find a beauty product you really like they go and discontinue it. Why do they do that? Just threeĀ months after falling in love with Mama Mioās Clean Slate cleanser theyāve gone and revamped the whole range, ditching this little gem. They havenāt even reformulated it, itās just gone. Why canāt these companies give us some notice, so we can go and stock up in advance? Like a Boots 17 nail polish in chateau red which I adored. If theyād said they werenāt going to make it anymore Iād have bought loads. Instead Iāve never been able to find the same colour again. […]
I’m afraid I’ve spawned a giant
BB was exactly two and a half on Saturday. Apparently, the height of a child at two and a half is precisely half the height they will be when fully grown, and Iāve had the height chart at the ready for months to see what it will be. BB was just over 3ft 1 (pictured). Which could make her at least 6ft 2. Cripes. After entering this information into my Dairy Diary (this is where all important milestones are recorded, just like my mum whose 1985 edition includes entries such as ācrummy mummy and her brother played together all weekend.ā Iām not kidding ā it really does) I started to think. While such stature could indeed put BB in the running to become a super model, if she inherits Misery Gutsā clumsiness she could well turn out to be more Miranda than Macpherson. […]
School name tapes: I freely admit I can’t be bothered
Lazy mums like me are being blamed for sending 140-year-old school name tag maker Cashās into administration. Apparently the latest [...]
Heirloom christening gowns aren’t just for royals…
When Prince George made his entrance into the Church of England itĀ got me thinking about BBās christening in July 2012. [...]
The (nappy) bag of my dreams…
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a mother in possession of a small child must be in want of a nappy bag. After almost two whole years I am finally in possession of the one I always dreamed of: Cath Kidstonās cowboy changing bag (pictured). Isnāt it beautiful? Itās shiny and red and has pockets and pouches galore and I canāt stop looking at ā or stroking – it. Pre BBĀ the Ā£65 price tag for a nappy bag seemed Ā£65Ā too much, so I settled for a Ā£25 eBay copy in a different pattern instead. Iāve regretted it ever since: given a nappy bag is the only one I ever use – day in, day out ā think of the saving I must have made by not buying handbags for two whole years. […]
M&S: Am I alone in thinking…?
So Marks and Spencer is in trouble. Again. The chain has reported a big fall in profits and the blame has been laid squarely at the changing room doors: sales of general merchandise, including clothes, are down 4.1% – thatās hundreds of millions of pounds to you and me. This surprises me. Since becoming a mum I have bought more clothes from M&S than Iāve ever bought in my entire life. Underwear used to be the only St Michael garments youād find in my drawers ā now I own coats, jeans, tops, jumpers, vests, bags, even shoes. I first ādiscoveredā M&S in 2011 while en route to the baby section for newborn essentials and was pleasantly surprised by their offering. Yet an industry āexpertā described their SS13 clothing ranges as āfrumpy and shapelessā on BBC Breakfast this morning. Oh dear. I fear this reflects worse on me than it does on them. […]
A girl can never have too many…headbands
Now Iām not normally a fan of headbands on babies ā I donāt really see the point, especially when they donāt have any hair ā but check this out (pictured). This super duper little numberĀ from Cute Cute landed on ourĀ doormat on Friday and Iām in love. Forget plastic or fabric covered metal, thisĀ one is made from the softest lace, boasts a glittery pink rose and is about as Downton Abbey as you can get. Needless to say my little rose adores it, and itās been round her head ever since. It even fits round my head, and as Misery Guts unhelpfully pointed out, it would also make a great garter (for me, not BB, of course). […]
Comfy shoes: the thin end of the wedge gets thicker
If my plastic glasses were the thin end of the wedge,Ā then theĀ wedge has just got thicker. Decidedly thicker. Check out my latest shoe acquisition. Designer? No. Gorgeous? Sadly not. High heeled? Donāt be silly. It is with the greatest regret I must admit, for the first time ever with the exception of trainers, I have bought a pair of shoes based on their comfort, durability and affordability. From Clarks. They look like the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny would wear. Worse, they are the sort of thing my 87-year-old Granny does wear. EvenĀ my 91-year-old Granny, who owns a pair of Ugg boots, is more on trend than I am. Worse still, my new pair of shoes boast WaveWalk technology. Attractive. […]
Bad hair day or the coolest kid in town?
Check this out. This is the sight that greeted me when BB woke up from herĀ afternoon nap (left). I cannot fathom how she managed to whip up such a hairdo in under one hour ā my only guess is that she must have been continually grinding her head into the mattress the entire time. Itās hard to describe the amazingness of the creation ā there were at least five individual sub-knots interspersed with corkscrews of hair firing out at all angles, all combined into one giant knot. When Iād finally stopped laughing I set about trying to brush it out (we needed to go to Tesco). Which only made it worse. Much worse. Then I did that thing I vowed Iād never do: I licked my fingers and tried to smooth it down. […]
My baby’s no longer a baby because…
Sheās just gone to bed in her first pair of pyjamas (left). Pyjamas! Itās a milestone up there with buying her first toothbrush andĀ takingĀ her for herĀ first proper haircut. Thereās no getting away from it now: all traces of babyness are disappearing. Fast. Of course I brought the pyjamaĀ landmark on myself, seduced by the cutest pair in Mothercare this afternoon. So cute I just had to buy them. Now she is in them and sleeping soundly, Iām feeling slightly weepy and nostalgic for the days when nothing but a sleep suit with feet would do, all cosy inside her grow bag as I nursed her. […]
Jimmy Choo just saved my life!
Weāve discovered a new game. Itās called These Choos areĀ Made For WalkingĀ and from now on it will be exclusively played on deadline days. Like today. Frantically tapping away to meet a deadline for a feature, poorĀ BB,Ā resplendent with a tear-stained face thanks to an angryĀ eye tooth,Ā eventually gave up pulling at my legs and wandered off. Usually when I suddenly realise I donāt know where sheĀ is and things have gone veryĀ quiet something bad is happening. Very bad. Like the time I found her eating soil peppered with slug pellets, or sucking the nozzle on a bottle of windowlene. […]
Plastic glasses: the thin end of the wedge
New glasses alert (pictured). Iām quite pleased with them, given that I could hardly see when I chose them thanks to the administration of eye drops 20 minutes earlier. BB quite likes them too. And even Misery Guts noticed a difference. But on reflection Iāve realised theyāre the thin end of the wedge. This is the first pair of glasses Iāve bought in which practicality came first, style second. The two must-haves were: 1) Arms as thin as possible so I donāt have a blind spot when driving or crossing the road. Why do all the āfashionableā frames have such thick arms? 2) Lenses as big as possible so I can see as much as possible. No more chic oblong frames for me. […]
